


I'll Be Home for Christmas

by Bitchinkitten



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Awkward Crush, Bad Decisions, Christmas, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Music, Christmas Party, Christmas Smut, Christmas Tree, Declarations Of Love, Dementia, Doctor/Patient, Eventual Poe Dameron/Finn, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Home for Christmas, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, LGBTQ Character, Loss of Virginity, Love Triangles, Major Illness, Misunderstandings, Multi, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Protective Kylo Ren, Sexy Times, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-19 15:34:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 37,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16537346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bitchinkitten/pseuds/Bitchinkitten
Summary: Tragedy strikes when Leia is diagnosed with dementia. Now that Han is gone, it's up to Ben to take care of his sick mother. Except he's been gone for 8 years away at medical school. As the weather grows colder, things between Ben and his next door neighbor, Rey, heat up. Will it be like he never left or have thing's changed since Ben left all those years ago?





	1. Chapter 1

Today was the day. Ben was coming home. She hadn’t seen him in eight years. Back then she had the biggest crush on him. She would find any excuse just to be around him. He mostly hung out with kids closer in age, but he had always made time for her. Well, he was her babysitter so he technically had to make time for her. She liked to think he enjoyed their time together though. He would let her watch scary movies, they would cuddle on the couch, and he would teach her sports stuff. She didn’t really care about the sports stuff, but she was happy just to be with him. When they weren’t together sometimes she would watch him from her bedroom window. He was always outside. He was very athletic. He had been on the football team, basketball team, and baseball team. She had almost died one day when he took his shirt off. 

But that was a long time ago. She had grown up since then. Of course she missed Ben, but that was only because he had practically been like her older brother. She didn’t have any real siblings so she would take what she could get. It was just her and her grandpa Kenobi. Her grandpa was close with Ben’s parents. When Han died they all took it pretty hard. Everyone except Ben. He was already away at college by then and she didn’t even see him at the funeral. Rey loved Han like he was her own father. He would bring her sweets and always let her swim in their pool. It broke her heart to see how alone Leia was. She made sure to stop by every week after that. She knew what it was like not to have a family. She spent years in foster care before her grandpa found her. 

Rey would come over after school and Leia would fix Rey a snack while helping her with her homework. It had become a habit of theirs. All good things must come to and end though. It happened on a regular fall afternoon not too long ago. Rey came over just like she did every other day. She greeted Leia with a happy hello and started making her way to the dining room table. “Who are you? What are you doing in my house!”

“Leia it’s me. Rey?”

“Get out of my house! I don’t know you. Han! Han!”

Rey ran out of the house after that. She rushed home and told her grandfather everything that had happened. It turned out she had late onset dementia. Rey had noticed she had become forgetful lately, but she didn’t think.. She could have never guessed...  
First Ben, then Han, and now Leia. They were all dropping off like flies. They were her family, even if they weren’t related by blood, and she was losing them left and right. The only good thing that came out of Leia getting sick was that meant Ben would have to come home. Rey wished it had been under different circumstances, but she was happy she would be seeing her old friend again. 

Today he was supposed to be coming home. She baked a basket of banana chocolate chip muffins to bring over when he got home. For now she would just do her homework while she waited. She tried to focus on her calculus, but how could she when her every thought was of Ben and her eyes kept wandering towards the window. She decided she wasn’t getting anywhere with her assignment and she closed her book in frustration. 

Rey began sprucing up the place. It was all done up for Christmas. She walked over to the Christmas tree and turned it on. She loved the way the place seemed to sparkle when it was lit up. She turned on some Christmas jingles as well and started cleaning. She couldn’t help herself when Mariah Carey came on and she stared belting out every note, which she couldn’t hit. She loved her life. She was luckier than most. She had a home, her grandfather, she never went hungry, and she was loved. What more could a girl ask for? She heard a knock at the door and her heart began to flutter. Could it be Ben? Surely her grandpa wouldn’t knock on his own door. 

She flipped her hair a few times for good measure before opening the door. “Oh, hey Finn. Come in.” She forgot Finn was coming over. Finn was a year younger than her, but was easily her best friend. He was always there for her when she was having boy trouble, needed fashion advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. She would tutor him in english and he would help her with math. Each had their strong suits, and their weaknesses. She was yin and he was yang. 

“Did you hear about Poe?” Rey asked. Poe was Finn's friend, not hers, but because she was always with Finn she spent more time than she would like to admit with Poe. He was an okay guy. There was nothing really good or bad about him. He was a player though. The girls were always swooning over him, but not Rey. He had tried flirting with Rey once. It had ended with a bloody nose. He never tried again after that. 

“Yeah I heard. I don’t know how he manages to get himself into so much trouble. I guess that’s Poe though. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone snooping around someone elses girlfriend.”

“Did the other guy land any punches?”

“Are you kidding me? It’s Poe. Of course they didn’t. Poe practically broke his entire face.”

“Poor guy.” 

“Hey muffins.” Finn went to grab a muffin, but Rey swatted his hand away. 

“Those aren’t for you.”

“Well who are they for then?” Rey didn’t answer that question. Instead she pulled out the extra muffins she had made just for Finn. His were made with dark chocolate rather than milk chocolate. Rey didn’t understand his love of dark chocolate. She thought it was too bitter. 

“Here you go. Just for you.” Rey handed him his own plate of muffins and poured him a glass of milk to go with it. 

Rey saw the unmistakable cherry red 73’ ford mustang fly past her house and pull into the driveway next to her own. He was here. Ben was home. She didn’t have a crush on him anymore or anything. He was like a big brother to her and she was just happy to see he was home. Still, it hurt her heart when she saw he wasn’t alone. A long legged blonde stepped out of the passenger seat right after him. 

She turned her attention back to Finn. She couldn’t think about Ben right now. She had tutoring to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? Hope you are liking it so far. It's just getting started so hold on. It'll take some time before we really get rollin.


	2. Chapter 2

Boy was he not happy to be home. He hadn’t missed this at all. At least Jess had come with him. She would have to leave at some point, but still, she was here now. He braced himself for the worst as he walked in. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he knew it wouldn’t be good. He pushed open the door and made his way inside.  
This wasn’t his home. It couldn’t be. It was cold and dark. Normally around now it would be a lit up with with Christmas lights and decorations. He turned the corner and nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. His mother had become a shell of a person. There was no joy left in her face. She didn’t even seem to know where she was. 

“Mom?” He held his breath while he waited for an answer. He wasn’t sure if she would recognize him. When he got the news from Old Ben that his mother didn’t recognize Rey he couldn’t believe it. Rey had grown up with him. His mother treated her like a daughter. Would his fate be the same after his eight year absence?

“Ben?” He signed in relief and went to her side immediately. He pulled her into a big hug and didn’t let go.  
“Mom. I thought that you might not..” His words trailed off into oblivion, but she knew what he had meant. 

“That I might not remember you? My own son? I carried you in my belly for nine months Benjamin Solo. You don’t forget something like that. I’m happy you’re home Ben.”

“Who’s Ben?” asked Jessika. 

“Not now Jess. Mom do you need anything? Can I get you some tea, or maybe a fresh cup of coffee?”

“No, none of that. I am feeling tired though. Would you help me to my room?”

“Of course. Jess I’ll be right back.” He grabbed his mothers hand firmly and started making his way upstairs. 

Not long after that there was a knock on the door. Jess had just been in the middle of playing candy crush and waited for Kylo to get it. When she heard the knock again she sighed and got up to get the door. When she opened it there was a girl standing there. She barely looked like a teenager she was so small. She was carrying a bag of muffins. Surely she was here to sell them to make a quick penny. “We don’t want to buy anything.” She said while shutting the door right in the girls face.

“Wait! I’m not selling anything. I’m a friend of Ben’s and Leia’s.” Jess wasn’t sure who this Ben was that everyone was talking about. Maybe Kylo had a twin brother or something. She still wasn’t sure about the girl though. “Kylo! Some girl is here,” she shouted. She didn’t move from her place in the door She wasn’t going to let a complete stranger in. He came thundering down the stairs seconds later. 

“Rey-Rey?” 

“Benny!” Rey pushed past Jessika, dropping her basket of muffins, and ran into Ben’s arms. Jessika scoughed as Ben picked Rey up and twirled her around in his arms. 

“Rey look at you! You aren’t a kid anymore! When did you grow up?” 

“What are you talking about? You were gone for eight years. Of course I grew up. Don’t be gone that long ever again.” she said as she punched him in the arm as a joke.

“Don’t worry, I’m here to stay. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Ahem!” Jess coughed. 

“Jess this is Rey. We grew up together. She lives right next door.”

“Hi, I’m Kylo’s fiance, Jessika.” She stuck out her hand as if Rey was supposed to kiss it, but she grasped it firmly and gave it a shake. 

“I’m Rey. Nice to meet you.” Jess didn’t reply after that.

“Rey come in and sit down please. We have to catch up.”

“Ben I thought we could spend some quality time together before I left.” The insinuation in her voice nearly had Rey gagging. 

“Oh uh,” was all Ben could stutter. 

“I just came over to give you these,” Rey said handing over the basket of muffins. “They’re your favorite. At least I hope they are still your favorite.”

“Banana chocolate chip?”

“You know it.” Ben grabbed the basket and pulled her in for another tight hug. 

“We still need to catch up. Why don’t you stop by tomorrow? I’ll cook you breakfast.”

“Only if you make chocolate chip pancakes.”

“Duh.”

“Alright see you tomorrow.”

“See ya kid.”

Just like that she was gone and out the door. 

“Who the hell is Ben!” He could tell this was going to be a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think about Jesskia Pava and Kylo Ren? I really like Jess as a character. I think I want to give her a bigger role in this fic than I initially intended. I always see Jess in fanfic as the sweet friend and I wanted to change it up and make her the bad guy in this one. More on that to come.


	3. Chapter 3

“I saw that Ben was home.” It was now hours later and Rey was sitting at the dinner table with her grandpa. 

“Yeah I know. I brought him the muffins I baked earlier. That reminds me, do you mind if I go over there for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Of course I don’t mind. It’s not like you’ll have school. Just make sure to get all of your homework done before you go.”

“Thanks grandpa. I’ll have it all done by tonight.” 

“Tell him I said hello when you see him. Make sure he stops by soon too.”

“Will do.” After that Rey started clearing the table. 

She could barely sleep that night. She kept telling herself that the butterflies in her tummy were just from seeing her old friend. It couldn’t possibly be that she still had a crush on him after all these years. Her mind settled on the fact that it didn’t matter either way. Ben was like her brother and was eight years older than her. It didn’t matter what she felt. It could never happen. Poor Leia would probably have a heart attack. She drifted into a deep sleep with thoughts of Ben still swirling around in her head.

When her alarm went off at 8 o’clock she hit snooze. When it went off at 8:09 she did the same thing. She did that a billion more times until she shot out of bed and checked her phone to see that it was 10:30. She jumped out of bed and started getting ready in a heartbeat. She couldn’t miss breakfast with Ben and Leia. They had never settled on a time, but still she didn’t want to be late. She usually needed an hour to get ready. Today she would have to settle for fifteen minutes. She had gotten ready in under five before so she wasn’t too worried. She just wouldn’t do her hair or makeup. It was a Saturday anyways. It’s not like she was going anywhere later. 

Ten minutes later she was out the door. She had to admit she was pretty proud of herself. She was knocking on Ben’s door only thirty seconds later. Her heartbeat quickened when a minute passed and nobody answered. Had she slept in too long? Had he waited for her to come and left when she didn’t? She knocked again just in case. Another minute passed and she decided that nobody was coming to the door. She turned to walk away when she heard, “Where do you think you’re going?” It was Ben and he looked like he had just rolled out of bed. Suddenly she didn’t feel so bad for getting up at 10:30. 

“Did I wake you up?” she asked with a chuckle. 

“No.. Maybe.. Yes. Just come in you buttmunch.” He really just looked exhausted. 

“If you want to sleep I can-”

“That’s it. You’re coming with me little lady.” With one sweep of his arms, Rey was yet again in the air being carried towards the kitchen. He plopped her down on the countertop then started rifling through the pantry. He pulled out the pancake mix, but seemed to be struggling to find the chocolate chips.   
“Bottom left. They are in a tall plastic container.” Rey didn’t even have to look to know where they were. She knew this place like the back of her hand. “Hey where is Leia? I was looking forward to seeing her.”

“Not too shabby Kenobi. Mom wasn’t feeling well this morning so I let her sleep… Anyways spill, tell me everything I’ve missed since I left. Are you still on the swim team? How is your senior year going? Is Mr. Snoke still teaching there? I bet he is. That old creep. You had better not be dating yet.”

That last comment got her thinking. Ben had a fiancé, but she wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend? “As if I could ever quit swim. I grew up using your pool. You of all people should know how much I love it. To answer your question about Snoke, yes he is still teaching. That old guy just doesn’t want to die.” She chose her next words carefully. “I actually have a boyfriend now.” Ben stopped mid mix and just stared at her. 

“What? Who is it?” He seemed genuinely concerned. Not mad, but concerned. Rey started to curse herself for lying to him, but she needed him to see her as an adult. She started running through the boys she knew. She really only knew Finn and Poe. Poe was more believable with his reputation, but Finn made more sense. She hung out with Finn more. 

“Uh Poe?” She wasn’t sure if she had made the right choice in saying Poe’s name. 

“Poe? As in Poe Dameron? Rey you can’t be serious. He’s been a player since he could walk. He’ll just use you and then toss you to the curb.”

Her next words felt like poison spilling spilling out of her mouth. “He treats me well. It’s not your say anyways. You were dating when you were my age and I didn’t judge.” 

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you with some chocolate chip pancakes.” Rey smiled once again as he plopped a pancake down on her plate. She hopped off the granite countertop and sat down at one of the islands bar stools instead. 

“Soooo?”

“Soo what?” Ben asked walking over to join her.

“Hello. Jesskia? Your fiancé? Tell me how that whole thing happened.” 

“We met at medical school. We had been dating a few years and I just figured it was time to propose. Well actually, Jess told me it was time.” 

“Wow. Romantic.” Rey joked. 

“I know, I know. She’s great though, you’ll see. I really know you guys are going to hit it off once you get to know each other.” That made her heart melt. She would really try with Jess next time. Hopefully that wouldn’t be soon though. “Speaking of which, I’m having a Christmas party soon. Jess will be there and I’d love for you to be there as well. Old Ben can come too of course. You can even invite Poe.”

“You? You’re hosting a Christmas party?”

“I thought it might help mom. Make her feel a little more at home.” There was a great sadness in his eyes now. One she couldn’t bear to look at.

“You know I could help you get the place set up, if you want.” Just like that the sadness was gone and replaced with something else. A glimmer of hope?

“Really? That would really help me out. I don’t exactly have an eye for that kind of stuff. There are tons of decorations too.”

“So when is the party?” 

“Not for another two weeks at least. Plenty of time to catch up I suppose. Would you wanna start now? Or maybe tomorrow?” Rey didn’t want to come off as too eager, but it’s not like she had other plans. She would have to inform Finn at some point about the whole Poe thing. She guessed she would have to tell Poe too. He had been invited to the party after all. She would handle all that tomorrow. For now she just wanted to be with Ben.

“I may have some extra time to spare today. Tomorrow I’m busy though.” It was the coolest way she could think of to say she had no plans.

 

The first priority was putting up the tree. To do that, you need a tree typically. Ben and her set out in Rey’s truck. It wasn’t as cool and sporty as his car, but hers could at least hold a tree. That was all that mattered. Rey said a hail mary that they would even find a tree. Christmas was right around the corner. They would be lucky if they got a charlie brown tree. Leia had always been the one who picked out the tree. Han was just the muscle. This time it was Ben picking it out, and Rey was the muscle. Okay well she wasn’t exactly the muscle, she just brought the truck. Leia had repeatedly chosen a douglas fir over the years, but Ben wanted to shake things up. He had his eyes on a seven foot tall blue spruce. “This is it. This is the one. Rey what do you think? How is it even still here?”

The man who had been assisting them gave them a simple reply. “Most people can’t fit a seven foot tree in their home sir.”

“I think it’s big and tall just like you. It’s perfect.” Rey spoke with a big ol’ smile on her face because she was the only one that knew what she really meant. She had said, “It’s perfect.” They probably assumed she had meant the tree, but she was actually talking about Ben. Rey was starting to realize she was in big trouble. She was crushing on him hard all over again. Except this time it was worse, not because of Jessika or Poe or anyone else. This time it was worse because she wouldn’t have eight years to get over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are you guys thinking so far? I'm not totally sure where I am going with this, but I have 1 or 2 ideas up my sleeve. Also my sisters and I always used to call each other "buttmunch". I don't know where it came from. Let me know if you use it too!


	4. Chapter 4

Leia eventually made her way downstairs to join the kids. Leia seemed to know who she was this time much to Rey’s relief. Leia, Rey and Ben spent over an hour listening to Christmas music while decorating the tree. It was nice to feel like a family again. Rey had almost forgotten what it was like. Leia once again grew tired and Ben helped her go back upstairs. Rey decided to make some hot-cocoa for herself. She pulled out her favorite mug, the Frosty the Snowman one, then shut the cabinet. She opened it back up to grab a second mug just in case Ben wanted some too. His mug had Jack Skellington on it instead. It seemed more appropriate. He was always wearing black for some reason. 

Ben came back downstairs just as Rey was plopping in the marshmallows. She handed out his mug, but rather than taking just one, he took both mugs and set them on the counter. Rey just raised an eyebrow at him in suspicion. He took her hand and led them both out into the living room where the music was still playing. Ray Charles “Spirit of Christmas” came on as they walked in. Still saying nothing, Ben placed one of Rey’s arm around his neck as he placed his around her waist and started swaying. They were dancing. Together. Rey buried her face into his chest. She couldn’t believe this was happening. It must have been some kind of dream. 

This was all very real though. His hand on her waist, her face in his chest, the dancing. All real. She wanted to remember every second. She couldn’t help herself as a few tears began to slip down her face. Suddenly she remembered why she didn’t listen to this song anymore. It had been Han’s favorite. He would play it on his guitar and sing it to Rey as a kid. She felt heartbroken all over again. 

Ben heard her gentle cries and pulled her away from his body to look at her. He wasn’t sure if he had done something wrong or what it was. “Rey-Rey? What’s wrong?” 

He didn’t remember. He didn’t remember that this was his own father's song. Of course he wouldn’t, he didn’t even go to his funeral. They never had a good relationship. “Why weren’t you there?” she asked him flat out.

“What? I’m here now. What are you talking about?”

“Why weren’t you at his funeral? He loved you more than anything and you weren’t there.”  
Ben didn’t have an answer. He just tried to pull Rey back into his arms, but she wouldn’t budge. She looked at him with a piercing gaze that seemed to be looking straight into his soul. 

“I should go. Grandpa will be worried.” She wiped away her tears and turned to leave. It wasn’t true. She had let her grandpa know she was going to be late. That didn’t stop her from slamming the door behind her. She had forgotten her jacket in the house, but she wasn’t going back in to get it. It was snowing outside too. She trudged through the snow over to her house.

The door was locked and she didn’t have her keys. She pounded on the door, but it didn’t look like anyone was home. Her grandpa had probably gone out when she said she wouldn’t be home until late. She called her grandpa, then Finn. Neither one answered. She would not go back over to that house. Not after she had left like that. There was one more person she could call. There was only two people from her school that she knew who drove. Finn and Poe. She thought about it then decided she would rather freeze. Why couldn’t her grandpa have been a normal person and leave a key under the mat like everyone else. Minutes passed by which turned into hours.

Ben had been such an idiot. He could have at least said something, anything. He shouldn’t have let her leave like that. It had already been two hours and he was still thinking about what happened. She probably wouldn’t want to help him anymore. He wouldn’t blame her if she did. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the cocoa that she had made him. Then right next to it was her jacket. Maybe he could bring it back and smooth things over with her? He could still bring her the jacket even if she didn’t want to talk to him. She might see it as a kind gesture and not think of him as such a monster, which he clearly was. He grabbed the jacket and slipped on his own. He walked out the door and realized he had no idea what he was going to say. He couldn’t exactly say sorry I didn’t go to my dad’s funeral, please forgive me. That would be pathetic. All his thoughts and air rushed out of his body when he saw her slumped over on the ground.

He ran to her faster than he had ever run before. Her skin was turning blue and her lips were purple. He reached out to touch her, but recoiled when she was colder than ice. “Rey! Wake up! Rey please! Wake the fuck up!” He started shaking her cold lifeless body, but she wouldn’t wake. He pulled off his jacket and laid it on her like a blanket. “ Rey come on! I just got back, don’t leave me now!” Still nothing. He picked her up bridal style and carried her back over to his house. He was trained for this. He was a doctor God dammit! 

He knew that she was probably just unconscious. She had been outside in freezing temperatures without a jacket. Regular body temperature was 98.6 degrees. If her body temperature dipped below 82 degrees, which it obviously had, she would go unconscious. He rushed her inside and set her down next to the fireplace. He checked her pulse, but found none. He had done it a million times so he knew he was checking the right spot. Nothing. He didn’t want to leave her, but he reluctantly ran to go get a blanket to warm her up faster. When he came back she was still asleep on the floor. He wouldn’t lose Rey. She would not die in his arms. He would make sure of it. He draped the blanket over her and left her once again to go grab a thermometer and warm up the hot cocoa she made earlier that wasn’t hot anymore. He was back in under two minutes. Every time her returned he hoped to see her sitting up, but each time was a disappointment and he grew more frantic.

He shoveled her into his arms in an effort to get her body temperature up. He was never going to warm her up if she was still in her wet clothes. He should have taken them off the second he set her down, but this was Rey. She was like his little sister. It would be inappropriate to remove her clothes without her consent. This was becoming a matter of life or death though. If a patient had come to him in this exact situation he wouldn’t have thought twice about removing their clothes. 

He started tearing off her clothes that were soaked from the snow. He tried to not focus on her perfect soft body, but found it impossible. She was gorgeous. He wouldn't change a single thing about her. Her breasts were small. He could probably fit them in his hands. He din't like big breasts on a woman though. It looked unnatural. Jess had big breasts and he hated it, not that he would ever say anything to her. God he was so fucked up. He was comparing Rey to his fiancé. Why hadn’t she come back when she couldn’t get into her house? She could have at least come for her jacket. Did she despise him enough that she was willing to die before being in his presence again? These thoughts weren’t helping. His hands were trembling as he recovered her with the blanket. She still had no pulse. He checked her temperature; 82 degrees. That must be an improvement right? He couldn’t live with himself if she died. His father would be so disappointed in him. He cried silently as he crushed her body into his. She was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry. You were warned. #checkthetags. The story isn't over yet though.


	5. Chapter 5

When she woke, everything was white. Was she still outside? It seemed like she was. She must have fallen asleep waiting for her grandpa to come home. She sat up to look around. She was laying in the snow. All she could see was a lamp post off in the distance. Where was her house? Or Ben’s for that matter? She was surrounded by snow. Even her clothes were white. No, these weren’t her clothes. She didn’t own an all white dress, or even a dress in general. What was going on? She stood and began walking around. Her feet were bare, but oddly enough not cold. In fact, she wasn’t even chilly. She was grateful for not being cold. Growing up in Jakku, it was always blistering hot. It was all she knew. She had a hard time adjusting to the cold when she moved in with her grandpa. The cold didn’t suit her.

Now that it wasn’t cold she could finally enjoy the snow. She wished it was actually snowing though. Without warning it started snowing. It was if someone had heard her thoughts. She stuck out her tongue to catch a snowflake. She felt like a little kid again, but she didn’t care. This was fun. “Rey!”

She whipped her head in the direction she had heard her name but saw no one. “Hello?” she asked hoping someone would answer. Maybe they knew what was going on. She started running towards where she thought the voice had come from. “Rey please!” There it was again. It was coming in the complete opposite direction of the lamp post. She ran even harder now. She hoped the unknown voice was friendly. They must be since they knew her. The winds started picking up as she got further and further. It was like they were reeling her back in. 

The wind was starting to burn her cheeks. It felt like she was being whipped in the face. She was losing her footing. She couldn’t help but be pushed back by the force of it all. Now she wished she wouldn’t have asked for it to snow. It was all becoming too much. “Hello! Can you hear me!” she asked. She fell to her knees and started crawling, but with a large gust of wind she was right back where she started. The lamp post was once again in the distance and it was barely snowing. “What in the?” She was so confused. She buried her face in her hands and started crying. 

“Rey.” She didn’t even lift her head this time. It’s not like anyone would be there. Then again, she seemed to recognize this voice. It was different than the one before. It was calmer. She looked up and saw the unthinkable. It was Han. She didn’t care if this was real or not anymore. She threw her arms around him. She could feel him. He was warm and soft. It felt oh so real, but Han was.. Han was dead. 

“Hey there kid.” He gave her a pat on the back. He was never very good at showing affection. That only made Rey love him more. He had been like the father she never had. Taken away from her too soon much like her real father. 

She pulled away only for a moment. She wasn’t sure how long this would last so she wanted to use her time wisely. “It can last forever if that’s what you want.”

Did he just hear her thoughts? “How? How is this happening?” She had to ask at least that.

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is your decision. We don’t have much time. You have to decide Rey.” 

She completely ignored everything he was saying. “Oh Han I missed you so much. Leia misses you too. Ben would never say it, but I know he misses you. Can you ever forgive him for not going to your funeral?”

“Rey, I forgave him along time ago. You can tell him I said so too if you see him. Now Rey you have to decide.”

“You keep saying that. What do you mean? What do I have to decide? Why won’t you just tell me?”

“Come on Rey-Rey.” She heard the other voice call to her again. It was growing fainter now. It was barely above a whisper. 

“Han I don’t know what to do.” She was crying uncontrollably. “I can’t lose you again. I won’t.”

“Then your decision is made.” Han extends his hand towards Rey. She goes to grab it but pauses. She can still hear it. The voice from before. It isn’t speaking to her anymore. It sounds more like its weeping now. She brings her hand back to her side. As much as she wants to go with him, she just can’t. It doesn’t feel right. 

“Go on kid. You don’t belong here. Go before it’s too late.” Han begins walking away in the direction of the lamp post. Its burning a bright white now. Rey covers her face when the brightness begins to sting her eyes. When she uncovers them Han is completely gone. She wonders if she has made the right choice. She doesn’t even exactly know what choice she has made. All she knows is that she has to try again. 

She goes to the voice once again. It’s more treacherous than before. She has to dig her heel in each time she puts her foot down. Ice begins to rain down instead of harmless snowflakes. They tear at her exposed skin. She would much rather be wearing her regular clothes at a time like this. This dress wasn’t going much to protect her body. 

She falls to the ground in pain and exhaustion. She couldn’t carry on. She was going to die here. She just laid there and waited for death to come and claim her. Her vision began to blur and soon after that everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh what will happen next? Also I want you guys to know you can interpret this chapter however you want. If you believe in heaven you can think of it as that or if you don't you can think of it as Rey's mind making all of this up to make dying easier. Honestly I just don't want to offend anyone so I'm leaving it all up to the readers interpretation. Hope you enjoyed this addition to I'll Be Home for Christmas. Next chapter will be out tomorrow. Leave a comment and let me know what you think so far! You guys are awesome!!


	6. Chapter 6

What was he going to tell her grandpa? He had trusted Ben to protect her while she was over here. Would he let him attend her funeral? He missed his own father's, he couldn’t miss Rey’s too. “Oh Rey. I’m so sorry. I should have went after you. I should have been there. I should have come home a long time ago. Please, please don’t leave me. I can’t do this without you. I love you. Come back. Come back. I love you.” He repeated the words over and over again like a mantra. He moved her away from the fireplace over to the couch when he realized she wasn’t coming back. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead and made his way over to his phone. Surely he would have Old Ben’s number somewhere. If not he could always just walk over to their house. His phone was on the dining room table. He went to go grab it even though he was dreading this call. 

When he walked back in she was gone. He had only been gone thirty seconds. He rubbed his eyes when he figured they must be playing tricks on him. As he passed through the doorframe he saw her. She was next to the fireplace lying on her side. Her eyes were out of view so he couldn’t tell if she was awake or not. Had he only imagined placing her on the couch? Slowly he made his way over to her. He would be lying if he said he wasn't’ a little scared. This had never happened before. Nobody just waltz’s over to a fireplace after being dead for who knows how long. Her eyes finally came into view. They were still closed. 

He was going crazy. He was sure of it. Rey’s death had pushed him to insanity. He went to grab her once again. Or maybe it was for the first time, he still wasn’t sure. He reached underneath her and her eyes popped open. He fell backwards straight onto his ass. Realizing what he had just seen he went to her side in a flash. She was shivering. She was alive. “I hate snow.” He couldn’t help but laugh at that.

His heart leapt from his chest. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He pulled her into a warm embrace. He was never going to let this girl go again. “Can’t. Breath.” He loosened his grip just enough to look at her. 

“Wha-. How? Rey you were.. You were dead.”

“I know.”

“What do you mean you know?” 

“Ben please don’t freak out, but I have to tell you som-”

“We shouldn’t be talking right now. We need to get some fluids in you. You should take a nice hot shower. Let me check you fingers for frostbite. We should really get you some food too.”  
“Ben I have to tel-”

“Shh. Save your energy. Just warm up by the fire. I’ll draw you a bath.”

“Ben!”

“What?”

“I saw Han.” She let that hang in the air before continuing. He looked at her in complete disbelief, but didn’t protest. “He forgives you. Actually I don’t think he was ever really mad. He understands that you had to deal with it on your own. He’s really proud of you Ben.”

“Rey.. Did you hit your head out there or something? We should really get you-”

“No Ben I saw him! I’m telling you. I don’t care if you believe me or not. I’m only telling you because he told me to do so.” It was hard to take her seriously when she still wasn’t wearing any clothes. Something in her voice though told him she was telling the truth. He’d known the girl for years. He could tell when she was or wasn’t lying by now. His heart and mind were at war. He was a doctor after all. He believed in medicine and healing. He didn’t believe in ghosts or heaven or talking to the dead. Still somehow he believed her.

“I believe you. I don’t know why, but I do. Rey you scared the hell out of me. What happened?”

“None of that matters now. You saved me Ben.” 

“Well I couldn’t just let you die. What would I have done with you? Now we really need to get you warmed up. How about a bath? I’ll cook you some food while you're in there.”

“I should really be getting back. I’m sure my grandpa’s really worried about me.” 

“You let me worry about that. You just head upstairs and get a bath. You can borrow some of my clothes when you're done.”

“Well, okay.” She pulled the blanket around her to cover herself up and made her way upstairs. 

Ben found her grandpas number in his phone and gave him a call. He explained everything to him. Well not everything. He basically said that Rey had become very deathly ill and that she should stay here for the night. That way Ben could monitor her symptoms. Old Ben agreed right away. He trusted Ben’s judgement. For that Ben was thankful. He asked if he should come by and check on her, but Ben reassured him that he had it under control. He was the doctor after all. The conversation had went surprisingly smoothly. 

If Rey was his daughter he would have said no. It was just such an odd predicament. Rey, a girl who is eight years younger than him, not blood related to him, and is not his patient was staying over so that he could take care of her. A man who had no morals might take advantage of the situation, but not Ben. He wasn’t like that. He still had a fiancé. He’d completely forgotten about Jessika. She was probably going crazy. She texted him constantly. If he didn’t reply within five minutes she would be convinced he was cheating. Jess could wait though. He needed to make some dinner. He hoped Rey wasn’t a vegetarian or vegan or anything. 

Ben decided to make some chili. It was warm and hearty. Normally it would take him hours to make his famous spicy chili. He would have to work fast if he wanted it to be done by the time Rey got out. He said a silent prayer for her to take her time. She could use all the warmth she could get and he could use all the time he could get. 

As he cooked he went over all the events that had happened in the past hour. He was so happy she was alive, but it didn’t make sense. He was a man of science. This defied just about everything he was ever taught. She must have been dead for at least twenty minutes. Normal people don’t just walk that off. When he grabbed her hands to check for frostbite he saw no signs of it whatsoever. The same went for her nose and toes. It was a medical anomaly. The more he thought about it the more confused he got. He opted not to think about it to save what remained of his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She lives! As if I could kill off Rey for good. I'm sure you guys saw that one coming. Still let me know what you guys thought about the whole thing. This story is far from over, don't you worry.


	7. Chapter 7

Rey took a nice long relaxing bath for Ben’s sake. She honestly felt fine, but he was so worried about her. She was weirdly calm for someone who had just died and come back to life. She was missing Han all over again. At least now she knew she would see him again. That gave her some peace of mind. She had to admit she missed the heat. She made sure to make her bath scalding hot. It didn’t even phase her when she got in. 

By the time she finished her bath her skin was red and squeaky clean. She felt a little weird about using Ben’s clothes. She found her way to Ben’s bedroom surprisingly easy. She hadn’t been in there for years. She pushed open the door and flicked on the light. It was just like she remembered. Everything was the same. Not a thing seemed to be out of place. It was all black. His sheets, his blanket, the rug on the floor. Where did he even find this stuff? Hot Topic? She knew she should just head straight for his closet, but she wanted to look around a little bit. She went over to his dresser and picked up a picture frame. She didn’t remember it being there. It was a picture of her and Ben as kids. Ben seemed to be about sixteen which would make Rey eight. 

He looked so different now. He was still Ben though. It didn’t matter what his fiancé called him, he would always be Ben to her. She couldn’t believe he kept this picture of them all these years. Then again there was a lot of things she was having a hard time believing lately. She eventually found her way to his closet. Big surprise, it was mostly black too. She pulled on one of his high school sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants. It didn’t look great but she wasn’t exactly going for sex appeal at the moment. She favored comfort over style anyways. She had to pull the waistband strings a lot before the sweatpants stayed on her hips. She grabbed a pair of socks and headed downstairs. 

Whatever he had made smelled wonderful. Rey wasn’t hungry before, but now she was starving. Her grandpa wasn’t the best cook so Rey made most of her own meals. She was getting better, but still wasn’t great at it. Somehow she excelled at baking though. 

She was pulling her wet hair into a bun when she rounded the corner. The entire table was set for dinner. He had even lit some candles. It looked so delicious and inviting. Ben was standing over the stove. That had to be where the wonderful smells were coming from. She didn’t want to startle him. She had done enough of that by dying. Still he didn’t seem to be noticing her. She pulled her socks on and walked over to him. “Smells good. Did you talk to my grandpa?”

“Good. I hope you’re okay with chili. I did talk to him. He asked me to watch over you while you recover so you are staying here tonight. It’ll be a slumber party just like old times. Except I’ll be checking your vitals every hour. Fun right!”

She would be staying the night? With him? This whole dying thing wasn’t really helping her appear like an adult. He was watching her like he was her babysitter all over again. “Oh yeah fun. I love chili so don’t worry. Hey do you remember that one episode of The Office where-”

 

“Where Kevin made chili and brought it in for the whole office to eat, but dropped it as soon as he walked in? Or were you referring to something else?”

They both loved The Office. When they hadn’t been watching scary movies they were watching The Office. Rey liked the UK version better, and Ben liked the US version better. The US version had grown on her over the years even though she denied it.

“Yes that is what I was referring to. You could have let me finish though.” 

“Go sit down Kenobi. Dinner is ready.” Rey stuck her tongue out, but did as he said. He brought the chili over to the table and set it down on the hot pad on the table. Leia would kill him if he wrecked the table. He laddeled out two portions of chili; one for each of them. She didn’t know what to say now that everything wasn’t so hectic. Hopefully he would talk first. 

Her silent prayers were answered when he asked how she was feeling. “I’m feeling great. Totally normal. Thank again for everything.”

“Don’t mention it. I’ll still check your vitals once we’re done eating. You may feel fine, but you could still be very sick. You could have pneumonia. Actually if you don’t have pneumonia I will be legitimately shocked.”

“Yes Doctor.” That sent a thrill down his spine. It was weird hearing those words out of her mouth. It was a good weird though. He would go as far to say he actually liked her calling him Doctor. “So did you tell my grandpa everything?”

“No, not everything. I left out the part where you died. I was afraid he would never let you over here again if I told him that. I hope that’s okay with you.”

Rey smiled to herself. He was really worried about never seeing her again. Maybe she should apologize. If she hadn’t been so stubborn none of this would have happened. “No that is more than okay. He’s probably worried enough. He doesn’t need to know that I was almost- Anyways thanks, that’s perfect.”

Rey was already spooning her last bite into her mouth. Apparently near death experiences really take it out of you. Could it really be considered a near death experience when she really did die? It didn’t matter. This would be their little secret. “Done already? Since when do you finish before me?”

“I was just really hungry! Don’t judge me. Your mouth is practically a vacuum.”  
“Ooh burn. I see your comebacks haven’t gotten any better. Here let me take that for you if you are finished.”

“Whatever loser.” Rey got up from the table and went to turn the TV on. Nothing but Christmas movies were on. She flipped through the channels before settling on Elf. It was at the part where he was eating maple syrup and spaghetti for breakfast. She had missed a good portion of it already so she rewound it to the beginning.

“Checkup time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the most exciting chapter, but I thought that was necessary after the last few chapters. I have some exciting stuff in the works though so don't worry. Next two chapters will be out tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

Rey only grunted. She was fine. “Lift your tongue.” He placed the thermometer into her mouth and waited for the beeps to signal it was done. It took about a minute for it to start beeping. “96.8 degrees. That’s a big jump from 82. Not exactly normal yet, but you are getting there. I need to check your lungs now. Could you stand up?” Rey did so without having to be asked twice. 

He put the stethoscope ear-tips into his ears and slipped the diaphragm under her shirt. It was a little weird and cold. When she felt his fingertips touch her bare back her heartbeat quickened unconsciously. “Take a deep breath for me. Good. Another one. Another one. Last one. Great. I don’t hear anything irregular in your lungs, but your heart beat seems to be a little fast. That can be one of the signs of pneumonia. Any other symptoms you are noticing? Chest pain, chills, sweating. Anything?”

“Well, I am a little cold.”

“Let’s make you a bed on the couch. I’ll go grab some pillows and blankets.” He was being so good to her. She didn’t deserve him. Neither did Jessika for that matter. He was too good for anyone. She took a minute to text Finn a small snippet of what had happened. She needed to see him tomorrow to really talk about all this. She hit send as he walked back in with enough pillows and blankets to warm a country.

“Here you go m’lady. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thanks Ben. So am I sleeping down here then?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m going to need to check on you through the night so it would make sense for us to stay close together. If you want you can sleep there and I’ll sleep in that chair over there or-” He stopped without continuing. 

“Or what? There has to be another option. There is no way you will be able to sleep comfortably in that chair.”

“We could both sleep in my bed? If that’s too weird or inappropriate just say so because I totally get it. I just want to make sure you are really okay. Every time I leave the room I hold my breath until I get back because I’m scared you’ll be gone again. I know it’s dumb, but I really thought I lost you. I have half a mind to never let you leave my side again.”

“No, that’s not dumb. We can sleep in your bed. We will both sleep better that way. You won’t be as worried or cramped and I won’t be on the couch.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m just not tired yet. Come watch Elf with me.” She held one side of her blanket up so he could get under. They spent the next hour and half cuddled up laughing at dumb Christmas jokes. By the end of it she was about to fall asleep right then and there. She had no idea what time it was, but it was probably way later than she normally stayed up. 

“Come on Rey, get up.” She slowly got up. She was apparently taking too long for his liking because he picked her up and carried her to his bedroom. She felt like an un-sexy bride on her wedding night that had a little too much to drink. It was an oddly specific thing to feel. She was lucky he had a king size bed. There would be no way both of them would fit on even a queen. He was just such a large human. Rey always forgot how tall he was. 

Ben tucked her in with a thoughtfulness that tugged at Rey’s heart strings. He placed his palm against her forehead to check for a fever or something. Rey wasn’t sure. He pulled out his thermometer anyways. “I have to check your temperature again before you go to bed.” She opened up without hesitation and he stuck the device in her mouth. It wasn’t long before the thing was beeping again. “102. You’ve got a fever. How do you feel?”

“Still really cold.” She could barely get the words through her chattering teeth. How was it that she was so hot, but felt so cold. 

“You’re going to need to stay bundled up all night. Even if you start to feel like you are gonna melt, you need to stay warm. That’s the only way the fever will break. Do you understand?”

“Yeesh. When did you get so strict?”

“I’m worried about you okay! I almost lost you forever. Now you’re here and I just want to make sure nothing else bad happens. Is that so awful of me?” He didn’t even notice when a tear escaped his eye, but Rey did. 

“Hey hey I’m sorry. You’re right. I know you’re just protecting me. Come here you big goof.” She held her arms out to him so she could give him a hug. He was reluctant at first. He didn’t want to appear weak. Jessika would have laughed at him for crying. She probably would have said grow up and be a man. But Rey wasn’t Jessika. He fell into her arms and held on for dear life. Every second she was in his arms was another second she was still with him. He weeped like a crying baby. Rey didn’t care one bit. She stroked his hair and just waited patiently for him to calm down. 

He pulled away when he heard her yawn. She was tired and he was keeping her up. He climbed over her to his side of the bed and shimmied his way under the covers. He had only ever slept with two women before; Rey and Jessika. Jess wouldn’t even let him hold her when they slept together. The more time he spent with Rey, the more time he found himself comparing her to Jess. It was odd. They were on two completely different planes. Maybe Rey would let him cuddle her? That’s how they slept when they were younger. Why would it be any different now?

“Ben?”

“Yeah Rey?” She seemed to contemplate going on with what she wanted to say.

“Will you play with my hair like you used to? It always would help me fall asleep.”

“Sure.” He pulled her body towards him so he could reach her hair. She had a chestnuty brown hair color that he adored. It always smelled like vanilla for some reason. He wasn’t sure if it was because she was always baking or if it was just her conditioner. Whatever it was, he couldn’t get enough. He just barely stopped himself from inhaling her scent. He was being a creep. He began combing his fingers through her hair. It was just as soft as he remembered it. It had grown quite a bit since he last saw her. It used to stop at her shoulders, but now it went down past her waist. He decided it suited her. He hoped she never cut or dyed it. 

He was already drifting asleep. The day had been quite taxing. Everything was okay now though. Rey was here in his arms and that was all that mattered. He barely heard when she said “I love you to Ben.” He figured it was just a dream and finally slipped into oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not your typical, "I love you." "I know". No this is just your average, "I love you," then falls asleep. Also I've seen a lot of fan-fictions write scenes where Rey and Ben had to sleep together and they made it sexual. I just wanted it to be nice and sweet. They both really care for each other if that wasn't obvious by now. More fluff, angst, and eventual smut to come. Toodles.


	9. Chapter 9

The sun streamed in through the blinds making the room look like a disco ball. It felt like it was late. Rey never usually slept past eight. Yesterday had been an exception. It hadn’t been her fault though. She’d had a hard time sleeping that night. It was nothing compared to the sleep she just awoke from. She had never slept better in her life. It felt like a soft bear was cuddling her all night. In fact, that big cuddle bear still had his hands wrapped around her waist. She never wanted to leave this. It was almost too perfect. 

It seemed to be snowing outside once again. She didn’t mind the snow so much anymore. She welcomed the snow now. It meant that Christmas was close. She couldn’t wait for Ben’s party. She would probably buy a new outfit for it. She wanted it all to be extra special. She decided she would text Finn and ask him if he wanted to go to the mall later. That was if Ben ever let her out of bed. 

She began inching away so as not to wake the sleeping beast. She was going agonizingly slow, but she knew he was a light sleeper. A pin drop could wake him up. At the same time though he could fall back asleep just as fast. Rey didn’t understand it. When she was asleep, she was asleep. She had one leg dangling off the bed already, but it was his grip on her waist that was the problem. She gingerly picked up one of his hands from her waist. All of a sudden she noticed that something was off. His snoring had stopped.

“Where are you going?” he asked groggily. 

“Umm, I was getting up. I was thinking of making some coffee. Do you want some?”

“Just lay here with me for five more minutes. Then I’ll make you all the coffee you want.”

She really should have gotten up, but she just couldn’t pass up the offer. Who could? Those five minutes turned into ten and those ten turned into another thirty. Rey didn’t complain. This was everything she ever wanted. She wished it was under different circumstances, but she couldn’t complain. Maybe one day this would be her life, waking up in his arms, but that day wasn’t today. That day may never come. Rey held out hope for one day.

He finally decided to release his death grip on her and they both got up. Ben went to check on Leia while Rey made her way downstairs. She passed a clock that read 9:34 a.m. Getting up so late made her feel lazy. 

Rey made enough coffee for all of them then set off to find her phone. It was probably close to dead. She didn’t plug it in before bed because she didn’t bring her charger. When she came over here yesterday morning she hadn’t anticipated she would be spending the night. Still she had no objections to the situation she found herself in. Her phone was wedged in between the couch cushions. She was confused when she saw that Poe had texted her. He’d texted her four times actually, yet there was nothing from Finn. She’d expected Finn to freak out over her news from last night. She opened the messages and read them one at a time.

 

Poe: pretty sure u didnt mean to send that to me but glad u did  
Poe: whos this ben guy and why did u tell him that were dating  
Poe: not that im complaining. r u getting these? helloOO  
Poe: what should i wear to the christmas party btw and when is it

 

“Fuck me!” she exclaimed. She texted Poe last night instead of Finn. No wonder Finn hadn’t texted her. God she was such an idiot sometimes. 

“What’s that pipsqueak?”

“Huh? I didn’t say anything. Nothing. How’s Leia?”

He gave a heavy sign before answering. “Not good. I don’t know what to do. I think I’m going to need to hire some special care workers. I can only do so much. I treat body ailments, not.. She's falling apart Rey and I can’t do anything but watch.” 

Rey poured him a cup of coffee, black, then handed it over. “Well you’ve only been home a few days. Maybe it’s not as bad as you think? She seemed okay yesterday.”

“Okay for Leia means awful. She’s just not herself anymore.”

“Well if she’s really so bad have you thought about a treatment facility?”

“I don’t think I could leave her at one of those places. I of all people know how bad patients can get treated there.”

“Well whatever you plan to do, I’ll stand behind it one hundred percent.”

“Thanks. Hey how are you feeling? Actually, just let me run and grab my equipment. I’ll be right back.”

That gave Rey some time to think about her Poe situation. He was a big part in all this. He had the right to know. She thought about her options before texting him back.

 

Rey: Hey Poe. I’ll explain everything later. Do you want to meet at the mall around 10:30?

Poe: I’ll be there. Meet me in the food court.

Rey: K.

 

“Who are you texting?” Ben asked. She really didn’t want to tell him the truth, but she didn’t want to tell the truth. He was holding his stethoscope and thermometer.

“Oh no one. I actually have to go soon though. I have plans today.” It wasn’t a total lie.

“I was going to make us breakfast though.”

“Sorry, I really have to go.”

“Well you aren’t going anywhere until I check your vitals. You need to be totally better before running off God knows where.”

“Fineeeee, just hurry it up grandpa.”

“You watch it. I could call your grandpa and recommend to him that you remain in my care for the rest of the day, maybe even another two days. Now what was that you were saying? Thank for for taking care of me Doctor?”

Rey would have to swallow her pride if she wanted out of here. “Thank you for taking care of me Doctor. I am eternally grateful.” 

He still loved hearing her call him doctor. He couldn’t quite place his finger on why. “You are very welcome. Now open up. You know the drill.”

He checked her out from top to bottom. It was almost like he wanted to find something wrong. “98.6 degrees. Nothing irregular coming from your lungs. No other symptoms. You are free to go. As long as you are really feeling okay.”

“I feel totally normal. Now I really have to go.” She went to grab all her stuff including her torn clothes from the night before. She would have to throw them out before her grandpa saw. God only knows what he would think of it. She started making her way out the door when a large hand stopped her. 

“Rey.. here’s my new number. Call me if you need anything. If you start experiencing any more symptoms, or maybe just wanna talk.. Don’t forget we still have lots of decorating to do.” His eyes were red and watery. It broke her heart to see him so concerned. 

“I’ll be back. I promise.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and was out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of me surpassing 2000 hits here is an extra chapter today. I already have the next 3 written, but I don't want to overwhelm anyone. Also Rey is extra sassy this chapter because why not? Enjoy! Toodles.


	10. Chapter 10

Rey went home to change out of Ben’s clothes. She would return them eventually, but not right away. They smelled so perfectly of him. He’d held her all night long. She was really so lucky. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking of this though. She needed to get changed and head out to meet Poe at the mall. 

Luckily she didn’t run into her grandpa, although he appeared to be home. He was probably still asleep. He was most likely out late last night. She would write a letter letting him know where she would be so he wouldn’t worry. He could read it when he woke up.

After she finished with the letter she went up to her room. She pulled open her closet so she could decide what she wanted to wear for the day. She ended up deciding on regular skinny jeans, a tight black turtleneck and tall black boots that hugged her legs all the way up past her knees. And who would she be without her red pom-pom beanie. She was beginning to feel like herself again. It was more black than she would normally wear, but the color was growing on her. She went into the bathroom to do a quick version of her morning routine and soon she was out the door. 

The drive to the mall was a short one, but she still found herself getting there right on time. She was normally early to everything. The time was just getting away from her lately. It was like her head was in some kind of daze. She should take more vitamins. Her heels clacked on the ground while scoping out the food court for Poe. She’d never hung out with just him. 

The mall was booming with life. No doubt because everyone was buying last minute Christmas gifts. It was kind of like a maze of people. She was never going to find him like this. She should probably text him.

“Hey hot stuff who ya textin?”

“Hi Poe. I was actually getting ready to text you. I couldn’t find you in this hoard of people.”

“Oh well, don’t worry I’m right here. I got you some boba while I waited. I have one passion fruit and one ginger. One sweet and creamy like you and one brown, rich and savory like me.”

This was a completely different side of Poe than she had ever seen before. He had showed up early to meet her and bought her a bubble tea. This was extremely weird. She guessed he just acted like an arse when he was in front of his football buddies. Probably wanted to show off or something. 

“Thanks. I’ll take the passion fruit. It’s actually my favorite.”

“I know. I remember you telling Finn one time. Should we sit or do you want to walk around?”

Wow this was getting more and more weird. He was being considerate of her wishes now?

“Let’s walk and talk.”

“You got it sweetness. So try to help me understand here. What is going on?”

“Yeah um, so basically there is this guy, Ben. I kind of like him and he sees me as a kid still. I really want him to see me as a mature adult. Real dating material. I’m not a little girl anymore ya know? Anyways, he’s actually dating someone else. I figured maybe if he saw me with someone that he would want to be with me. I mean I can’t wait around for him forever. And we would be great together I just know it. So I told him I had a boyfriend..You.”

Rey was cringing at her words. Hopefully Poe would be understanding and not make fun of her. “Yeah, I kind of know what you mean. It sucks to want someone who you know is never going to want you back. It’s the worst kind of pain there is.” He let out a sigh. He was being genuine in his confession. “So basically you want me to go to this party and act like your boyfriend?”

“Pretty much yeah. You wouldn’t have to really do anything per say. As long as you hang around me we should be good. This is a big favor to ask I know, so in return you can ask something of me. Anything at all. ”

“Now that is an interesting offer. I would have done it for nothing, but now that you mention it..”

Dammit she was dumb. She shouldn’t have even offered anything. He would have just done it. She had expected him to want something in return for his “services”. She shouldn’t have opened her big mouth.

“I’ll do it on three conditions. Number one, you come with me to my family party and pose as my girlfriend.”

“Okay. I can do that as long as they aren’t on the same day.” It was a fair enough request. She couldn’t imagine why he would want her to play his girlfriend, but then again that could be asked the same of her. 

“Number two, you help me pick out a new outfit for the party and I’ll buy you one in return.”

“I’ll help you pick out an outfit, but you don’t need to buy me anything.”

“Are you saying no to my terms?”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Good. Number three, I get to kiss you under the mistletoe.”

“What! Are you crazy? You are asking way more of me than I did of you.”

“Hey you were the one who came to me remember? Now is it a deal or not?”

She weighed her options. This wasn’t the worst. He could have asked to feel her up or something. It wouldn’t even be her first kiss, so it’s not like he was taking that away from her. She had planned on getting Ben under the mistletoe though, not Poe. 

“Deal, but no tongue.” She held out her hand and they shook on it. It wasn’t even the weirdest deal she’d ever made.

“Now let’s get you into something a little more fancy.” 

They searched store after store for something to wear. He would pick something out for her, normally it would be way too short or way too ugly. Rey would pick out funny sweaters for him. They had very different ideas of what someone wore to a Christmas party.

“Okay, what about this?” Rey walked out in a candy cane red dress. It came down to just above her knee. It hugged her waist perfectly, then flared out just the tiniest bit. The halter neckline was encrusted with red jewels that twinkled in the light. It showed off her tan skin beautifully. 

Poe was at a loss for words. It wasn’t slutty or risqué. It was just perfect on her. She looked like a Christmas present all wrapped up just for him. 

“Too much?” Rey asked. He probably looked like an idiot with his mouth open.

“No, it looks gorgeous on you. Who would have known under all that stuff you were actually kinda hot?” He had to make it seem like he wasn’t totally blown away. 

“Wow, thanks Poe. What a gentleman. So should I get it? Is this the one you imagined?”

“This is the dress. Now let’s get some matching shoes to go with.”

“You are too much Poe Dameron.”

“And that’s the way uh huh uh huh I like it.”

Rey was actually having fun. She couldn’t keep herself from smiling. It felt nice to have someone compliment her and pay attention to her for once. Maybe she was glad she had said Poe’s name instead of Finn’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention passengers this is your captain speaking. We're going to be taking a brief detour from our Reylo ship. On your left you will see something very special called a Damerey. It's very rare, but luckily for you, you'll be able to see it for at least the next few chapters so strap in. It's going to be a bumpy ride. Toodles.


	11. Chapter 11

 

“Oh come on, we’ll match perfectly.”

 

“You can not seriously want to wear that. It’s hideous.”

 

“Rey, it’s meant to be funny, not stylish.”

 

“But your suit has Christmas trees and snowmen on it. Yes it’s red and matches my dress, but it’s just so, so-”

 

“Festive. Now that’s enough I’m buying it.” Rey actually did find it funny. She let out a little laugh at the thought of him in the suit. They would definitely raise some eyebrows at the party, but she didn’t care. She wouldn’t have to even be with him all night if she didn’t want to. She was probably going to invite Finn too. That way things wouldn’t be so awkward. She was sure Ben wouldn’t mind.

 

All of a sudden she heard a voice calling out behind them. “Hey Dameron. Nice Christmas present. Mind if I play with her when you’re done?”

 

It was one of Poe’s football knucklehead buddies. Poe was fuming when Rey looked at him to gauge his reaction. He looked like he was ready to smash the dudes face in. 

 

“It’s fine Poe.” Rey said trying to diffuse the situation.

 

“No fuck that.” He pushed passed Rey and headed straight for the guy. Poe was prone to fights, so Rey needed to get a handle on this quick. “Hey jackass. Apologize to my girlfriend. She’s not some toy made for your pleasure and amusement.” No one else was supposed to know about the whole dating thing. Poe must have been caught up in the moment. Now the whole school would think they were actually dating.

 

“Poe, it’s me man. It’s Hux. What’s gotten into you? It was just a joke. Since when do you have girlfriends anyways?”

 

“Apologize. Now.” Poe felt like a furnace. Rey was pushing and pulling at him to create some distance between the two, but Poe wasn’t going anywhere. It was like his feet were made of cement. 

Rey was sure that if Hux didn’t apologize, Poe would go ape shit. Maybe he would either way. The two were held in a heated stare. Finally Hux gave in and looked at Rey. “Sorry.”

 

Poe seemed satisfied with that. It wasn’t the most sincere apology, but she would take it. Hux turned to walk away and under his breath muttered “Bitch.” With that, Poe’s fist collided with the guys nose. 

Rey only gasped at the whole ordeal. No one had ever beaten someone up for her before. It wasn’t on her bucket list or anything, but it did make her feel special. 

 

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Poe grabbed her hand that wasn’t holding their bags and led them both away from Hux who was knocked out on the ground. 

 

“Sorry about him. Hux can be an asshole sometimes.”

 

“It’s okay. I’m used to it. Oh my God. Poe your hand is bleeding!”

 

“Oh yeah, probably from when I punched him. It doesn’t really hurt, it just stings a little.”

“We need to get it bandaged up. Follow me in your car back to my place. I can patch it up there. It’s the least I can do.”

 

Poe wasn’t gonna pass up that offer. It was like a dream come true. “Yeah, okay.”

 

It only took about ten minutes to get home with Poe following close behind. Her grandpa's car was gone which was a relief. Rey had her keys this time so at least she could get into the house. 

Rey pushed open the door and led Poe inside. It was pretty dark despite it only being 1:00 p.m. The sky was dark and clouded over. It was most likely getting ready to snow once again. It sure was cold enough for it. She hadn’t read the weather reports for the day so she couldn’t be sure.

 

“Just take a seat out in the living room while I run and grab my medkit. Feel free to turn on some lights too.” Rey ran upstairs leaving Poe in the kitchen alone. There was a knock at the door before he could even sit down. Rey wasn’t back yet, so Poe went to get the door. 

 

He opened the door to reveal an enormous man standing in the entrance. Poe wasn’t a short man either. Poe was 5’9”, but this guy had to be at least 6’1”. Maybe even 6’2”. “Uh who are you?”

 

“I’m Ben, who the hell are you?”

 

“You’re Ben? Like the Ben?”

 

“Yes. That was already established. What do you mean “the Ben”?”

 

“Sorry, I’m Poe, Rey’s boyfriend.”

 

“Oh. I didn’t recognize you. Where’s Rey?” Rey took that moment to come back downstairs. 

 

“Poe I’ve got the med-. Oh, Ben. What are you doing here?”

 

Ben walked in from the cold and Poe shut the door behind him. “I saw you come home and thought I’d come check on you. Make sure you were still feeling okay. Rey, why do you have a medkit? Are you hurt?” He rushed to her immediately. Rey stepped out of arm's reach before he could get to her. 

 

“I’m fine. It’s for Poe actually. He hurt his hand.”

 

“Oh. Well do you want me to take a look at it.” Ben was completely ignoring Poe who was still standing by the door. He was asking Rey, but Poe decided to answer for her. 

 

“Rey’s got it. She knows how to take care of me.” Poe took the opportunity to walk over to Rey and throw an arm around her tiny shoulders. That pissed Ben off though he tried desperately not to show it. He didn’t like Poe. He didn’t like thinking about all the inappropriate things Poe was probably doing to his Rey.

Ben looked at Rey as if to check if that was her answer as well. “We’re fine Ben. Really.”

 

“Rey where is your grandpa? Does he know that  _ he’s  _ here?”

 

“That really isn’t your concern Ben.”

 

“Your safety absolutely is my concern Rey. If he so much as lays a finger on you so help me God I’ll-”

 

“You’ll what? Finish that sentence, I dare you. Rey’s my girlfriend not yours so back off. You’re too late.”

 

Poe had that look in his eye again. The one that said he could pounce at any moment. Ben had the same look in his eyes. 

 

“Enough! Both of you stop it. You’re acting like children. Ben I think you should leave.”

 

Ben's eyes were telling a different story now. One of sadness and betrayal. “But Rey-”

 

“Now please.” Rey's voice shook when she spoke. She couldn’t even look at him. This whole thing had really gotten out of hand. Ben just stared at her in disbelief before turning to leave and slamming the door behind him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those images were the inspiration behind their outfits. I think that Poe and Rey are actually so cute together, but don't worry Reylo is still my OTP. Let me know what you think of the new direction I'm taking this in. I just felt like Rey and Ben needed a break. I mean he JUST got there ya know? So stick with me people. More new and exciting things to come. Toodles.


	12. Chapter 12

“Hold still.” Rey commanded. She was spraying neosporin on his open cuts. 

“It hurts though.” Poe replied.

“I will make it hurt a lot more if you don’t stop moving.” That seemed to make him sit still. Rey really had no intention on hurting him. She wasn’t like that, but she would say she would if it got him to stop squirming. Which it did. “It was really stupid of you to hit him. He could press charges you know. Seriously, what were you thinking?” Poe stayed silent. He couldn’t tell her the truth. “Even though I don’t approve of your violent behavior, I wanted to say thank you. No one has ever stood up for me before.” 

That made Poe’s eyes light up. “It was nothing really. He had it coming. I mean he had no right to talk to you like that. It’s my fault anyways what with my reputation and everything. There’s probably more to come since I let it slip that we’re dating..even though we aren’t. If anyone says anything to you tomorrow you just tell me and I’ll take care of it.”

“Why? So you can beat them up again? No way. I’m a big girl, I can handle it.” 

A comfortable silence fell between the two. He just watched her and she carefully bandaged his hand. She was a true treasure. If only she knew..

“So that was Ben huh? I didn’t take you for a girl who was into older guys. Is it just older guys or is he like an exception?”

“We really don’t have to talk about this.”

“Humor me.”

“I don’t know. It’s not all older guys, just him. I definitely like guys my age too, but there is just something about him. What about you? Last I heard you were with some girl named Rose?”

“Oh yeah, that’s over with.”

“Big surprise.”

“Hey, I treat my girls right. Didn’t I treat you well today?”

“Yeah, you did.” Her voice softened. He was treating her better than anyone ever had before, except for Ben that is. She couldn’t forget that just yesterday Ben saved her life. Still, Poe was giving him a run for his money.

“Anyways, it's like I said. I know how it feels to want someone who doesn’t want you back.”

“So who is this lucky lady that has stolen the heart of the one and only Poe Dameron?”

“Oh well. She’s funny, smart, and gentle. She really knows how to put me in my place. She’s also kind and generous. She’s as gorgeous as a victoria secret model, even though she’d deny it if you said anything. Her cheeks are always pink and rosey… but she only sees me as a friend.” He hangs his head low in despair. “Maybe not even as a friend.” 

She’d never liked Poe much, but his words really touched something inside of her. She felt for him. He was going through the same thing as her. It was like they were kindred spirits. She caught his gaze and saw the pain that resided there. 

“Well, if she doesn’t see you for the amazing guy you are then she’s dumber than a dummy. She doesn’t deserve you Poe. Still, I hope you get her.”

“Thanks Rey.”

“All done. You are healed. You’re lucky we didn’t have to amputate. It was really touch and go there for awhile, but thanks to my amazing medical skills we were able to save your hand. I’m a genius.” That had them both laughing. This felt nice. Rey hadn’t had a good genuine laugh in a while. “Hey you know what would be fun?”

“What?” Poe had expected for her to kick him out once she was done wrapping his hand.

“Let’s both get our new outfits on and have a mini fashion show. That is unless you have to go. I don’t want to keep you if you had other plans.”

“Let’s do it. Can I change in your bathroom?”

“Yes! It’s just around the corner. Don’t come out until I say though, okay?”

“Okay weirdo.” This was fun. Poe loved hanging out with Rey. Finn was normally with them when they hung out. He never got to be with Rey alone. 

Rey put on some Christmas tunes then ran to get ready. 

“Can I come out now Rey?” Poe yelled from his place in the bathroom.

“Yes, but you have to do a runway walk. Ready, set, go!”

Poe strutted out in his red Christmas suit. It really did look amazing on him. Rey laughed when he started walking and his face was completely serious. He looked like a real life model. Rey was just starting to notice that Poe was actually kind of cute. She guessed that she never noticed it because he was always acting like an arse. 

“Oh my God! How does that thing actually look good on you?” She clapped as he did a little twirl then fell into the chair beside her.

“I’m a professional, what can I say. Your turn.”

“How am I supposed to follow that?” Still she got up and walked out of view. Then she kicked her leg out from behind the wall. The shoes he’d bought her sparkled in the light. They were covered with hundreds of little crystals. He was surprised when she picked them out. He didn’t take her for a girly girl at all and these shoes were definitely girly. He didn’t care how much they cost, he loved spoiling her. He never dated anyone long enough to really spoil them. He wasn’t going to waste a chance at spoiling Rey. 

She finally came into full view and words couldn’t express how beautiful she looked. She sauntered towards him with a devilish look on her face. She may have been dressed liked the devil, but she looked like an angel. She posed at the end of their makeshift cat walk. Her feet betrayed her though and she fell right into Poe’s lap. They both erupted in laughter. “Damn shoes.” 

“Don’t worry you have plenty of time to break them in. At least I think you do. When is the party? Did you ever say?” 

Rey just stayed seated in his lap which surprised Poe greatly. “I actually don’t know yet. Ben said two weeks yesterday, so maybe like the 22nd or 23rd. When is your family party?”

“It’s on the 23rd I believe.”

“Oh well. I promised you I would go. Even it’s on the same day, we can make time for both. Thanks so much for doing this Poe. You have no idea what this means to me.” She nuzzled her head into his neck.

“Of course. I actually-” Poe stopped when he heard the door open. Rey hopped off of Poe at the thought of Ben coming back, but it was only her grandpa. 

“Rey, I didn’t know you were home. Well look at you. You look wonderful. Did you buy that yourself?” Rey was unintentionally blocking Poe from view. He stood up behind her and even though she was wearing three inch heels he could still see clear over her head. 

“Actually I bought it for her sir.”

“Poe Dameron? Is that you?” Her grandpa looked shocked to see him, but not angry, which was a relief.

“In the flesh.”

“I haven’t seen you since you were just a boy. It’s good to see you. You sure have grown. Are you playing any sports?”

“Yup. Football season just ended and now I’m playing basketball.”

“Very good. You’ve definitely got the height for it.” Suddenly he turned his attention to Rey. “Rey why didn’t you tell me that Poe was coming over and why did he buy you that dress?”

He seemed upset with her. “I promise nothing happened between us. I just was bandaging up his hand. I didn’t plan on him coming over. He bought the dress for me because we’re going to Ben’s Christmas party together. You’re invited too by the way.” He looked at her as if he could tell she wasn’t telling the whole truth. “Poe and I are actually dating..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I normally post two chapters a day, but I am so far ahead that I might post an extra chapter or two today. I just finished Chapter 17 and boy was that a crazy chapter. I'm starting on 18 now. I never expected this story to be so long, but I can't let it go. I love it so much. Enjoy the extra chapters. Let me know what you think! Toodles.


	13. Chapter 13

Rey couldn’t read his face. Would he be more mad about her bringing a boy to the house when he wasn’t there or for not telling him she had a boyfriend?

“Phew. Rey I was starting to think you were never going to get a boyfriend or maybe that you were gay.” Was he being serious! 

“Grandpa!” Poe started laughing uncontrollably, but Rey didn’t think it was funny. 

“You two kids have fun, I’m going upstairs. Keep it PG Dameron.”

“Yes sir.” He could barely get the words out in between laughs.

Rey turned around to slap him in the arm when her grandpa was gone. “It is not funny Poe!”

“It is to me.”

“Yeah well that’s easy for you to say. You can get any girl you want and here I am lying about having my first boyfriend.”

“Not any girl,” he reminded her.

“Right. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. Anyways, I should probably get going before the storm hits.”

“Oh, okay.” She couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that he was leaving. She was having so much fun with him. She found herself wanting him to stay now.

“But.. Would you maybe want to go out to dinner with me sometime? We could go some place nice that way you can break in those ridiculous new shoes.”

Everyone probably already thought they were dating, so what harm could dinner do?

“I’d love to. But promise me you won’t wear that suit.”

“I promise. So, I’ll text you?”

“Sounds good.”

“See ya sugar-pie.”

“Bye my beloved.” They shared a chuckle at the ridiculous pet names and then he was gone.   
The realization of what had happened between her and Ben set in. She’d practically told him to get out. She needed to patch things up between the two of them. She didn’t have time to go over there now, she had things to do at home. She’d been gone a day and a half. She had to clean her room and do laundry. Maybe she could text him though.

 

Rey: Hey Ben, it’s Rey. Sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have kicked you out like that.

 

She set down her phone and prayed he would text her back. He was probably still really upset with her. He had every right to be. Rey started on her chores while she waited for him to text back. 

It was nearly 9:00 p.m. when she heard her phone buzz. She ran out of the laundry room and darted straight for her phone. She had two new messages. She opened her phone and checked them at once. Her heart fluttered and dropped at the same time when she saw it was Poe who had messaged her.

 

Poe: I was thinking about you and thought I’d say thanks for earlier. My hand is feeling much better.  
Poe: How about Fogo de Chao for our dinner date? Or would that be too much?  
Rey: Isn’t that a Brazilian steak house?  
Poe: Yeah. It’s delicious trust me.   
Rey: Okay, I believe you.  
Poe: Does Thursday work?   
Rey: Absolutely.  
Poe: Then I’ll pick you up around 7? Don’t forget the shoes.  
Rey: Don’t worry, I won’t. See you then. :)  
Poe: ;)

 

Still nothing from Ben. She thought about texting him again, but decided that he would text her back when he was ready. It was getting late anyways. She should be getting ready for bed. 

When she crawled into bed her head was a mess. Normally she fell asleep to thoughts of Ben, but somehow Poe kept popping up in her thoughts. She fell asleep thinking about them both.

Rey woke up on Ben’s couch. How did she get here? She looked down and saw that she was dressed in the outfit Poe had bought for her. Still it astonished her how lovely the dress was. It reflected light off the jewels surrounding her neck. She’d never thought she looked very good in red, but this dress alone was proving that wrong.

The place seemed like it was ready for a Christmas party, but she didn’t see anyone. She got up and started walking around. She didn’t remember getting ready for the party. Was she the first one to arrive or had she missed it all together? All the food seemed untouched. The same went for the drinks. She had to admit that the place looked amazing all lit up. Hopefully it would make Leia feel better even the smallest bit. Where was Leia? Where was anyone at all? This place looked like Roanoke. 

Rey set off to find Leia. She couldn’t miss the party. It was all for her anyways. She searched the kitchen, dining room, and living room, but found no one. Maybe she was in her bedroom? Rey didn’t want to wake her if she was sleeping, but she could at least check. Rey rounded the corner and stopped mid-stride. It was Ben. Right beside him was Poe. 

Poe was in his bright red suit that he bought specifically for the party. He looked so handsome. Ben was sporting a totally different look, but looked equally as handsome. His raven black hair was a fluffy mess which was a drastic difference from his outfit. He was wearing a perfectly tailored all black suit. It took her breath away.

“What’s going on? Where is everyone?” she asked. 

“Come here Rey.” they answered in unison. This was getting creepy. Still she trusted both these men so she walked over at their request. She had no reason to think anything fishy was going on. Then again, last time these two were in a room together they were at each other's throats. 

“Closer sweetheart.” It was only Poe who spoke this time. Rey was standing right in front of them now. They were facing one another, but were turned to look at her. Poe grabbed her gently and pulled her to him. He placed her so that her back was against his stomach and she was facing Ben. Poe swept her hair to the side and started kissing her neck. She let herself melt into Poe’s arms. Ben’s stare alone would have been enough to make her melt.

“You know Ben and I were talking,” Poe said in between kisses. 

“Huh?” was all she could say.

“We don’t mind sharing you.” It was Ben this time that spoke. Rey wasn’t even listening at that point. Rey could only focus on standing up. Her knees felt like they were buckle. Just like that, Ben pushed her hair off the opposite side of her neck and started kissing her there as well. She couldn’t exactly make sense of what was happening. All the nerves in her neck were on fire with electricity. Poe snuck his hands around to her breasts and started massaging them gently through her dress. Ben suddenly pulled away from her neck. Rey was getting ready to protest at the loss of his lips, but was quickly silenced when his mouth came crashing down upon hers.

She’d never kissed Ben before. The only kiss she ever had was just a small peck. This was totally different. It was passion, love and lust all combined into one perfect kiss. She couldn’t get enough. This was exactly what she needed. Poe spun her around suddenly and claimed her lips for himself.

His kiss was different. It started off more tender, but quickly dissolved into something more. Ben started unzipping her dress from the back while placing chaste kissing along her shoulder and arm. Her dress slipped down and pooled at her feet. 

She was totally blissed out. Her mind refused to work. When she opened her eyes her brain snapped back into action. “No! This is wrong.”

“Shhhh.” Ben said, “I know you want this.”

“No, not like this.” Rey was beginning to panic. This was turning into a nightmare. No it wasn’t turning into a nightmare, this was a nightmare. She had to wake up. She reached up to pinch herself and things started to grow cloudy. 

“You’ll have to choose one eventually,” was the last thing she heard before waking up in a sweat. She was in her bed again. She looked over at her clock and saw that it was 5:00 a.m. She didn’t have to be up for another hour. Still, she doubted that she would be able to fall back asleep after her nightmare. It had left her feeling sick to her stomach. She decided to go take a shower and wash away the bad thoughts, as well as the shame that was between her legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are missing Reylo, this chapter was for you. It's also for my Damerey shippers. This chapter was like one of those "why not both?" commercials. I couldn't decided who I wanted in the dream so I put them both in. This was just a taste of what is to come. Let me know what y'all thought! You guys are amazing. One more chapter will be put out today. Toodles.


	14. Chapter 14

“When were you going to tell me you were dating Poe! And why did I have to find out from stupid Phasma in AP Language?” Phasma was on the football team with Hux. She was a beast. She was better than half of her teammates. 

“Finn I’ll explain everything later, but I can’t talk about it right now. Sit down. Have lunch with me.”

“How could you not tell me! We’re supposed to be best friends!” He was yelling at her now and they were drawing a crowd. She’d never seen him so mad. What was the big deal anyway? Was he worried she would start spending more time with Poe now rather than him?

Rey went to speak, but Finn cut her off before she could. “I thought you didn’t even like him? At least that was what you said.”

“What’s going on here?” Poe asked. Bad timing. Finn glared at him then walked away. Rey was on the verge of tears. Was this what it was like to be in a relationship? If it was she never wanted to be in one again, real or fake. Poe sat down beside her and pulled her into a hug. 

“I expected this from others, but not him. He’s my best friend Poe and he hates me.” She cried into his shoulder. She could care less if people were staring. Let them stare. She was defeated. Ben wasn’t talking to her and now Finn probably wasn’t talking to her either.

“Do you want me to talk to him for you?”

“Surely you can’t be serious?”

“I am serious and don’t call me Shirley.” That made Rey laugh.

“Was that an Airplane reference or and Michael Scott reference?”

“Both?”

“Okay. If you wouldn’t mind talking to him then that would be great. Just tell him I need to talk to him. You can tell him that we aren’t really dating. I trust him with the truth. I was planning on telling him anyways.”

“Will do.” Poe got up to leave, but Rey grabbed his arm.

“Uh Poe..”

“Yeah?” he asked sitting back down.

“Would you sit and eat with me? Finn isn’t coming back and I normally eat with him. I don’t want to look like a bigger loser than I already am.”

“Yeah. Of course. You are my girlfriend after all. I’ll just talk to Finn later in gym.”

“Thanks.” They sat together an ate while everyone watched. It was like they were an attraction at the zoo. Hux scoughed at them when he passed. His nose was black and blue. 

The afternoon went on without anymore issues, just the occasional passing glance or double take. Rey had swim practice after school. Finn was on the swim team too, so he couldn’t avoid her all together. Hopefully Poe had already talked to him. Rey went to go change hoping that when she got out she would see Finn. There was still another twenty minutes before practice officially started. 

When she was done changing Rey grabbed her swim cap, goggles, and towel before heading back out. Rey was always early to practice since she was captain. Her and Poe were kind of like a power couple since he was captain of the basketball team. Finn was waiting for her outside the locker room. She couldn’t tell if this was going to go good or bad. At least he looked like he was willing to talk to her so that was already a step in the right direction.

“Hey.”

“Hey Finn, what’s up?”

“Well Poe talked to me. He told me some of it, but said I should really hear it from you. Do you want to get some boba after practice? My treat.”

“That would be okay I guess.” she said to just Finn. “Alright everyone make four separate lines and start taking turns doing laps in the pool!” she yelled so that all her teammates could hear. 

It was now hours later and Rey and Finn were ordering their boba. “I’ll take one matcha, and one passion fruit.”

“Actually could I have a ginger bubble tea instead?” Finn looked at her confused, but changed the order without question. 

Finally they were sitting down, face to face, bubble tea in hand. She took a sip to test it out. She took another sip to solidify whether she liked it or not. It had a peculiar taste. By her third sip she decided she liked it. It was just different than what she was used to.

“It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore. You’re drinking ginger tea and have a boyfriend.”

“About that. He’s not actually my boyfriend.” Finn didn’t say anything so she continued. “I like someone else actually. I need them to see me as more of an adult, so I told them I was dating Poe. It was never supposed to get out. It was just between me and him, but when I was explaining all of this to him, just like I am to you, someone saw us. It was Hux. He yelled some mean vulgar things at me then-”

“That explains the nose.”

“Yes. Then Hux must have spread it around school that Poe and I were dating. Please you have to believe me. There is nothing between Poe and I.” 

“Okay I believe you. I was just so upset when you didn’t tell me. Still, I shouldn't have been so upset. Sorry babe.”

“I’m sorry too.” Each of them got up as if on cue and hugged it out. 

“Rey. I haven’t been completely honest with you either. I have a confession to make. Two actually.”

What could he tell her that she didn’t already know? Maybe he had a secret twin or something. “Okay, what is it? You can tell me anything Finn, you’re my best friend.”

“Well I haven’t ever told anyone this before, but...I’ll just come out and say it..This shouldn’t be so hard.”

“Finn whatever it is, I won’t care. You can tell me.” She patted his hand in reassurance. 

“I’m gay.” Rey wasn’t sure she had heard him right. Gay? Finn? No way! Not that she had a problem with it, but how could she now have known. I mean she had NO idea. He hid it well.

“What?”

“I’m gay. The reason I got so mad yesterday was because I have a crush on Poe. I didn’t know how to tell you, or anyone for that matter. Please don’t be mad at me for keeping it a secret.”

“Oh Finn. How could I ever be mad at you for something like this. It’s not like it’s a choice. I respect that you needed some time before telling me. I can’t believe you have a crush on Poe! God now I feel awful about you finding out that way. I am so sorry.”

“Let’s both stop saying sorry. Neither one of us have anything to apologize for.”

“You’re right. Oh and before you find out from someone else again, I’m going out to dinner with Poe on Thursday. Again, there is nothing going on between us. It’s just to get our story straight before the party. I hope that’s cool.”

“Girl you know I trust you. Could you try talking me up maybe? Or maybe find out if he’s into guys like that?”

“Of course. Now that I know I will do everything in my power to bring you two lovebirds together. Hey since we’re here do you want to look around the mall? I could use a new dress for Thursday. I don’t really have anything nice.”

“Uh hellz yeah. You need all the help you can get. Let the one with an actual fashion sense take care of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh Finn is gay! Who saw that coming? I know I did. Btw no one give me any crap about stereotyping gays in the future because I myself am gay and I am a walking stereotype. Lesbians rule. Okay. I know I said this would be the last chapter for today, but I have to post one more. Toodles.


	15. Chapter 15

Two days passed yet she still heard nothing from Ben. She decided she would only text him once a day. That wasn’t too pathetic. Right?

 

Rey: Hey Ben, it’s Rey. Sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have kicked you out like that.  
Rey: Me again. Please talk to me.  
Rey: Did you give me the right number? At least let me know if you’re getting these.  
Rey: Starting to feel sick again (cough cough). Help

Nothing. Today was Thursday. The last time she saw or even heard from Ben was on Monday. The events that transpired that night kept running through her head. It was like it was on replay or something. The farther Monday got, the less she found herself fantasizing about Ben. Those thoughts were starting to be replaced with ones about Poe. It felt wrong considering Finn's confession to her. Still, it’s not like it was hurting anyone. She would never act on it. She couldn’t do that to Finn, or Ben, or herself. It was a messy situation. Finn loves Poe, Poe loves some mystery woman, Rey loves Ben, Ben loves Jessika, and Jessika only loves herself. Good God how had things come to this. 

Tonight was her dinner date with Poe. She spent her time getting ready trying to think of ways to steer the conversation back to Finn. It wouldn’t be hard. She practically knew everything there was to know about him. Or so she thinks. After his shocking confession she wasn’t so sure anymore. She didn’t want to say it, but she couldn’t help but be a little sad that Finn didn’t tell her sooner. She would have never said Poe’s name if she had known. The more she thought about Finn the more it made sense. 

Finn had never once made a move on her. Not that she was anything special. Finn was always hanging around Poe, despite Rey’s protests. Plus he had amazing taste in almost everything. Clothes, food, boys. It’s not like those things mean a person is gay, but it should have raised some flags. She must have been blind to not see it sooner. 

It was 6:00 o’clock and Rey was completely ready. Maybe she should go visit Ben and Leia. She needed to do some major damage control in that arena. Maybe she would bring over the cupcakes she baked earlier. They could be like her version of a white surrender flag. They were vanilla afterall. That seemed like a good plan. She started packing up the cupcakes to take over while she hummed to herself. 

It didn't take long before she was done. She placed a big pink bow on it, grabbed her jacket then she was out the door. She was glad she didn’t wear her fancy new shoes over to Leia’s because her feet would have been soaked. She was still in her new pretty dress though. It was peeking out from behind her coat. She knocked and waited for an answer. She was surprised when Ben actually came to the door. He wasn’t wearing an shoes and seemed to also be missing a shirt. Rey was only just now noticing how many scars he had. Who had that many scars? 

He didn’t seem surprised to see her, but he did look annoyed. “Rey now isn’t a great time.”

“Well I’ll be quick then.”

“Rey.”

“I’m so so sorry. Please talk to me again. This sucks not hearing from you. I mean you won’t even text me back.”

“Kylo who is it? Oh it’s Rachel.” It was Jessika in one of Ben's shirts. With nothing else on by the looks of it. 

“Rey actually.” 

“Yeah that’s what I said. Kylo come on the bath is getting cold.” She looked right at Rey when she said it. 

“I’ll be there in a minute. You go get in.”

Jessika didn’t seem satisfied with that, but when he gave her a look that said “Now,” she left them in peace. 

“Rey I don’t know what you are talking about. I’m not mad at you. If anyone owes me an apology it’s Poe, and what’s this about you texting me? I haven’t gotten any texts from you.”

“Oh..well maybe I have your number wrong. Is this it?” She showed Ben his contact in her phone. 

“Yeah that’s my number. I think I know what the problem is. I’ll take care of it, don’t worry. Hey what are you all dressed up for? You look great by the way.”

“Oh thank you. Poe is taking me out to dinner. Don’t worry, I know what you are thinking.”

“Ha, I doubt it, but please do enlighten me on what I am thinking.”

“No these are not the shoes I’m wearing out to dinner. I just put on the shoes nearest to the door to come over there.”

“Well thank God because I was starting to worry.” They were laughing together again. Joking like old friends. Finally she didn’t have to hold her breath anymore. They were good. “Why don’t you come over tomorrow to do some more decorations? I want to mention it now just incase I don’t fix my phone.”

“Yeah totally. Oh and these were for you by the way. They’re vanilla. Don’t let Leia have any. They have a strawberry jelly inside and I know she’s allergic.” 

“Thanks Rey. Oh hey, you have something on your nose.”

“What?” Ben dipped his finger into one of the cupcakes and got frosting on Rey’s nose. 

“You tricked me you asshat! You better watch you back tomorrow.”

“I’m shaking in my boots Kenobi, and watch your mouth little lady. Talk to me like that again and there will be consequences.” 

“Oooh I’m scared. Now I’m the one shaking in my boots. You aren’t even wearing any.” They both laughed and caught their breath. 

“Kylo!” Way to ruin the moment Jessika. 

“I should go, but I’ll see you tomorrow right?”

“I will be there with bells on.”

“See ya kid.”

“Bye Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh. Where do you guys think I am going with this? Find out tomorrow on Biggggggg Brotherrrrrrr. Lol do you guys like that show? I love Big Brother. No, but really find out tomorrow. Chapter 16 & 17 are crazy. It was exciting just writing them. Toodles.


	16. Chapter 16

“Oh hey baby. Get in the water is hot, just like you.” Jessika was soaking in the bathtub waiting for Kylo. “What did whatshername want? Actually, don’t answer that. Just get in. You made me wait long enough.”

She was playing innocent. He would get the truth out of her one way or another. Part of him just wanted to let her have it. He should have done it days ago really.

Jessika was on break right now so she surprised him by visiting. Surprise was an understatement. She basically just showed up on his doorstep on Monday without warning. It was a welcome, but odd surprise. Jess didn’t ever really do anything for him, not even during sex. He knew she was cold, but he thought he could see past it all. She was like a hard cookie on the outside, but had a warm gooey center. She wasn't all bad. 

He didn’t think she would be capable of something like this though. It started Monday night when he was making them both dinner. His hands were busy kneading dough when his phone vibrated. He asked Jess to check it for him. When he asked what it said and who it was from, all she said was, “Oh no it wasn’t a text message. It was just your weather app. It’s going to snow tonight. We better stay warm.”

That would have made sense except his weather app made a different notification sound. The sound he had heard was the one that went off specifically when he got a new text. Then again what reason did he have to believe she would be lying. He didn’t think anymore of it..at the time.

The next day he was taking a shower when he heard his phone go off yet again. It wasn’t uncommon for him to get messages. Most of them were from Jess though and she was there with him. He continued showering for at least another ten minutes before getting out. While he was still showering he heard his bathroom door open. He called out to see if anyone had come in, “Hello?”

“Yeah it’s just me, Jess. I need to grab something then I’ll be out of you hair.” Again he had no reason to doubt her truthfulness. Yet weirdly, when he got out of the shower and checked his phone, there was no new notification. 

Now it was Thursday and it had happened two more times since then. It all became clear to him at one time. He should at least give her a chance to fess up to it. He wanted an explanation after all. If she owned up to her actions then he could start to forgive. Even if he never completely understood her reasoning. 

“Before I hop in will you do me a favor? Would you just text me real quick?”

“Uh I guess so. Hand me my phone over on the counter. Promise me you’ll get in after I do it though.”  
Ben grabbed her phone, which was right where she said it was and handed it over to her. “I promise. Now here's your phone.”

Jessika snapped a picture of herself in the water, which was growing colder by the minute, and sent it to Ben. His phone dinged only seconds later with the picture. “Sent. You’re welcome. Now get in. Why did you need me to text you anyways?”

“Funny you should ask that. When Rey stopped by earlier she said she had texted me. Multiple times actually, yet I wasn’t writing back. I had no idea what she was talking about because I hadn’t gotten any messages from her.”

“Maybe she had your number wrong. Why aren’t you getting undressed yet? You promised me.” Jessikas smile was faltering. Little by little he was wiping it clean off her face.

“See that was my first instinct too, but she showed me my contact in her phone. It was the right number. That’s when I thought maybe my phone was broken and not receiving messages. That can’t be it though because you just messaged me. It came right through. You heard it.”

Her smile was gone. Completely gone. Maybe it was because he wasn’t getting the tub, then again maybe it wasn’t. 

Jessika stood up and got out of the tub naked and dripping wet. Normally that would be enough for Ben to forget any argument, but he wasn’t backing down. “Fine, don’t get in the tub whatever. I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I am not having it. I’m going to get some clothes on.” 

Ben throws her a smile and a towel, “Here. We’re not done with this conversation.”

“Yes we are.” Jessika pulls the towel around herself and tries to walk past him, but doesn’t succeed. His huge body was blocking her way. 

“I said, we aren’t done.”

“What are you gonna do? Hit me? Kick me? Whatever you do I’ve had to deal with worse.”

“No. Never. All I want is to have a conversation and to know the truth. Now like I was saying. She had my phone number right. My phone seems to be working. She even showed me the texts she sent. All of them were delivered, so I know it wasn’t her phone either. What do you think happened Jess because I am just fresh out of ideas.”

She looked like a mouse forced into a corner and the only way out of it was through a trap that he set. There was no getting out of this now. 

“You think it’s fun for me? To see you look at her like you do? You look at her as if she’s some kind of angel sent from heaven. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You have never once looked at me the way you look at her. And what is she like twelve, thirteen? You are twenty-five you sick perv. I’m real. I’m here. I’m yours. We’re engaged. What more do you want?”

“The truth.”

“Fine. I did it. I did it. I did it. Is that what you want to hear? You want a confession? Well here it is. I deleted those messages for us. We are falling apart Kylo. It’s all her fault. She has your mind all twisted up in some sick fantasy that is never going to happen. Look at me.” She pulls his face towards her so that they are eye to eye. “I love you. I love you more than she ever could. Don’t throw away what we have on some prepubescent orphan girl.”

That was the wrong thing to say. “Get dressed. Get your stuff. And leave.” There was a sternness in his voice that Jess had never heard him use before. 

“You’re really going to throw me away just like that? Like some kind of whore?”

“Leave now before I call the cops.”

“I hope you two are very happy together you fucking creep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp you guys guessed it. It was all Jessika. Good riddance. She was literally so awful. Hope you guys loved reading this chapter just as much as I loved writing it. Let me know what you think of everything that went down. Do you think Jess is gone for good or will Ben be an idiot and go crawling back. Next chapter will be out soon. Toodles.


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

“So I saw you and Finn getting along today. I guess that means you two patched things up?” Poe had picked her up right on time and now they were headed to the restaurant. Poe looked very stylish. He was wearing a simple grey suit with a blue tie and white button up. Rey could see why Finn liked him. Finn. She was supposed to be talking him up.

 

“Yeah we’re good now. Finn’s the best. He was totally understanding of the whole thing. I told him we were going out tonight and he didn’t even get upset. Normally we’re still studying right now.”

 

“Well it was really my fault he was mad at you. Sorry again.”

 

“No don’t be. Finn can just be emotional sometimes, but in a good way. Whoever lands him will be one lucky..person.”

 

“We’re here. Wait right there. I’ll get your door for you.” His chivalry never seemed to end. 

 

“M’lady.”

 

“Thank you kind sir.” The place was huge. It looked more like it should house a theatre, not a steakhouse. It was so elegant too. Any steakhouse she had ever been to looked like a barn. 

 

Before long they were in the building and Rey’s shoes weren’t ruined somehow. A Christmas miracle. “Dameron. Reservation for two.” Why didn’t Rey ever hear about this side of Poe? Was he like this with all of the girls he was with? No way. She normally heard girls crying in the bathroom over him. They would cry about him not calling, or about the fact that he was already with someone else. She never heard about him actually taking one of his girls out though. 

 

“Right this way. A server will be with you momentarily.” Poe helped her out of her jacket and slung it on the back of her chair. Rey was wearing an emerald green off the shoulder bodycon dress. It fit her body just right. It showed off her slim figure in an elegant way that didn’t upstage the shoes. She was the epitome of beauty. Now Poe felt subpar. He pulled her chair out for her to sit then pushed it back in and took his own seat. 

 

He was sitting directly across from her which was a relief. He smelled a little too good. Rey needed some distance between them.

 

“So what do you think of the place? You can be honest.” Poe asked. 

 

“It’s lovely. You know who would love it? Finn. Yup. Finn loves these kind of places.”

 

“Well I’m glad you love it. I was worried you wouldn’t.”

 

“What is there not to love about this place? I can’t wait to try the food.”

 

“Good evening, what can I get you two to drink?” the waitress asked.

 

“Tea with lemon for me.” Rey answered.

 

“You know what? I’ll have the same. Good idea.” 

 

“I’ll bring those back for you right away. Feel free to head up any time you like.”

 

That caught Rey off guard. What did she mean head up? “Huh?” was all she could muster.

 

“Let me explain because it’s a little tricky. You see that little coaster thing in front of you. You turn it to green when you would like to be served meat, and you turn it to red when you don’t. People will come around with an assortment of different meats that you can try. Everything else you could want is over there at that station. Soup, salad, whatever you want. Just not the meats. Those get brought straight to the table.”

 

“So it’s like a glorified buffet for rich people.”

 

“Yes, but it’s delicious. Want to come with me to grab some food or would you like me to bring some back for you.”

 

“Haha nice try. I am a strong independent woman who doesn’t need any man's help. Could you point me in the direction of the bathroom though?”

 

“It’s right over there,” he said pointing to an orange restroom sign. 

 

“Thank you, and I guess it would be okay if you made me a plate.”

 

Rey needed to text Finn. She needed to remind herself of her mission. She was here to talk up Finn, even though she agreed before she even knew about all that.

  
  


Finn: How’s it going?

Finn: I wanna see pics of you in that dress when you’re done.

Rey: Going good. Having a hard time keeping the convo on you. He keeps changing topics. 

Finn: Don’t worry too much about it. I don’t want it to be obvious that I like him. Play it cool.

Rey: Okay you’re right. Thanks. Text you later.

 

Rey regained her composure and walked back to the table. It was covered with plates.

 

“I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got a little bit of everything.”

 

“Thank you Poe.”

 

Some time later Poe and Rey are still at the restaurant, and Poe is laughing so hard that he nearly has tea coming out of his nose. 

 

“No way!” Rey said. Poe held up his hands in defense. 

 

“I am not kidding. Okay your turn. Truth or dare Rey?”

 

This had been going on for at least twenty minutes. “Okay truth.”

 

“Interesting choice. Tell me why Ben. Why him over everyone else?”

 

“Well. It’s no one thing. We’ve known each other for years and he just sorta gets me. He’s really easy to be around and talk to. I like that. It’s hard for me to get comfortable with people. I am not exactly the extrovert you are. Sometimes I don’t know about him though. I wonder if all of this is worth it. If he doesn’t see me as a an adult by now, maybe he never will..”

 

“Well hey you seem comfortable with me? And Finn. Finn too.”

 

“Yeah you guys are great. Your turn. Truth or dare?”

 

“Uhhh truth. No, dare. No, truth.”

 

“Okay, I’m going with truth. Would you ever date a guy?”

 

“Wow. How did that come to mind? Uhh I don’t know. I’m not against that sort of thing, but date? I honestly don't know, but I would not take a dick in the ass for anyone.”

 

“TMI!”

 

“You asked! Your turn again. Would you ever date a girl?”

 

“Yes. My turn, who is your crush?”

 

“Woah woah woah. You can’t just skip over that so easily.”

 

“I answered your question, now answer mine.”

 

“Rey.”

 

“No, no you aren’t getting out of this. Tell me who it is.”

 

“Rey.”

 

“This isn’t fair! You answered all of the previous questions! Why is this one any different?”

 

“Rey. I’ve told you three times now.”

 

“What? What do you mean you’ve told me three times. You just keep saying Rey, Rey, Rey.” Finally it hit her. Rey. Surely he couldn’t mean it though. Poe must have noticed she figured it out because he suddenly looked worried. 

 

“You must have known. Some part of you must have known. It can’t be that much of a shock.”

 

“Would you excuse me for a minute?” Rey didn’t wait for a reply before darting for the bathroom. She sat down on the pink couch inside the bathroom and processed the information. Okay so, Finn likes Poe, Poe likes her, she likes Ben, and Ben is engaged to Jessika. This was one hell of a roller coaster ride. 

 

This is the kind of stuff someone writes about, but it doesn’t actually happen in real life. It’s not supposed to really happen. What was she supposed to tell Finn? Could she even tell him? What about Ben? As she thought everything over she left out a very important opinion. Her own. How did she feel about this? At the moment, she felt overwhelmed. Everything seemed to be resting on her shoulders. When she put everyone else's feelings aside, how did she feel about Poe? 

 

This was all too much. She had already been gone too long. She needed to face this thing head on. She walked out of the bathroom yet again and headed back towards Poe. 

 

She sat down and neither one said a word, even though there was much to be said. 

 

“I don’t know what to say Poe.”

 

“Just say you don’t hate me.”

 

“I don’t hate you.”

 

“Well that’s a relief.”

 

“I um.. I can’t say that you are totally alone in your feelings.”

 

“I’m not?” A childlike wonder spread across his face. It was much better than the despair that was there before.

 

“No you aren’t, but for reasons I can’t explain, nothing can ever happen between us.”

 

“What, why? I deserve to know why.”

 

“It's not mine to tell.”

 

“Rey look at me. This doesn’t involve anyone else but you and me.”

 

“I wish it were that simple. I really do. If that were the case then this would be a different conversation. But this involves a lot more that you know. I’m sorry Poe. You don’t have to come to the party anymore if you don’t want to.”

 

“Don’t be sorry. Of course I’ll still come to the party. I made you a promise. I intend on keeping it.”

 

“I don’t deserve you Poe.”

 

“You’re right. You deserve better.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our second love confession. Rey has a big decision to make now. A few big decisions actually. What do you guys think of all of this? You guys seem to be split on who you want Rey to end up with. Who wants a Reylo ending and who wants a Damerey one? Have any of you thought about the fact that maybe Rey doesn't need either of them? Don't worry. This story has a happy ending. Toodles.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Choo Choo motherfuckers, all aboard the love confession train. First stop Finn, second stop Poe, third stop Rey, and next stop....? I just surpassed 3000 hits so this is an extra chapter for all you lovely people. Let me know what you thought. Toodles.

Poe had given her a lot to think about yesterday. It felt like she was being torn apart. Rey was starting to really care for Poe, but she also cared for Ben. In the middle of all this was Finn. She could never betray him and that was that. She only had to make it through one more week of school. After that she would be on winter break. Break started on Saturday the 22nd and ended Wednesday the 2nd. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something. If she could just make it through next week then everything would be okay. 

Rey was feeling pretty good since she came in first at the swim meet earlier. Now she was heading over to Ben’s. It looked like Jessika’s car was gone, but Bens was hard to miss. She knocked hoping that Jessika wouldn’t answer.

“Hey Rey, come on in!” Despite his chipper attitude he looked like death. It was like he didn’t sleep at all. When Rey walked in the house was destroyed. There were pillows on the the ground, books knocked off the shelves, and glass on the floor. “Yeah be careful. I’m still cleaning the place up. It was worse than this. Believe me.” 

Rey shut the door behind her and asked “What happened Ben? This place was fine just yesterday. Did a tornado blow through here and miss me somehow.”

Rey went to grab a broom to sweep up the glass while she waited for Ben to answer. “No. No tornado. Just Jessika.” He was in pain. They must have had some big fight. Still she found herself pushing down the urge to smile. Not at his pain, but that him and Jess were on the rocks. 

“Oh..do you want to talk about it?”

“We don’t have to. Thanks for helping me clean up by the way.”

“I really don’t mind. I’m here to talk if you want.”

“It’s a crazy story really. It has to do with you so I guess you have the right to know.”

“With me? Really?”

“Yeah. Remember how I wasn’t getting your texts. It turns out Jess was deleting them from my phone. She didn’t take it well when I confronted her about it.”

“Why would she do that?”

“She thinks that I have feelings for you or something. I mean you’re like my sister. That’s crazy right?”

“Totally.” Rey was crushed. Nothing was going right and now her dreams of being with Ben were dead. That is all they would ever be now, dreams. She was a stupid little girl for believing he could ever love her.

“Yeah. I told her to leave and on her way out she may have thrown a few things.”

“So um. Is that it then? Are you you two done?”

“I think so.”

“I’m sorry. I feel like this is my fault somehow.”

“Don’t be sorry. It wasn’t you. Jess is being delusional if she thinks I would ever come on to you. Let’s just have some fun today. I could use it.” He just kept twisting in the knife. How was today supposed to be fun when she just had her heart shattered? 

Cleaning up didn’t take long with both of them doing it and they quickly moved on to decorations. All they had done so far was the tree. It made the place smell wonderful. Rey noticed there was a few presents under the tree already. Rey had her Christmas shopping done months ago. She was now realizing maybe it wasn’t completely done. Would Ben get her something? Maybe she should get him something just in case, and what about Poe? Should she get him something?

“Okay how about here?” Ben asked. They were hanging rainbow Christmas lights around the house. 

“Looks fine.”

“Rey what’s up with you today,” Ben said stepping down from the chair. “Did something happen on your date last night? Did Poe hurt you?”

“No, Poe didn’t hurt me. It wasn’t him. He has nothing to do with this.”

“But it is something then? I was right. Talk to me boo.”

“I can’t. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“Please just drop it.” Rey's sadness was transforming into anger. How could he be so oblivious to her feeling for him?

“Okay, how about some dinner? That always cheers you up.”

“I think I need to go.”

“What? But Rey you only got here like an hour ago. Stay.”

“I’m leaving. I’ll see you later Ben.”

“Wait. At least text me when you get home so I know you got inside okay?”

“Fine.” she answered. Just like that she was gone. What was he doing wrong? He was screwing up with all the women in his life. Jess he could bare to lose, but not Rey. He wouldn’t lose her too. He made the mistake of not going after her once. He wouldn’t do it again. He was going after her. 

“Rey wait!” 

“Ben what are you doing?” She was crying. She’d only been gone for thirty seconds but her entire face was wet with tears. 

“Rey. Please tell me what I did wrong. It’s killing me to see you like this.” The wind and snow picked up just like their conversation. He gripped her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere. He had to know. He had to understand.

“Ben I can’t. I just can’t. Let me go.”

“Rey just tell me. Please I’m begging you.”

“You want to know? You really want to know what my problem is? It’s you. I love you and you don’t love me back. Even if you did it wouldn’t make a difference though because no matter what I do I’m going to hurt someone. Even if I do nothing I still hurt people. So there it is Ben. Are you happy?” She was fuming. It felt good to just get everything off her chest. She had nobody to turn to. Her grave was already dug so why not dig a little deeper?

“You’re dating Poe though?”

“Did you even hear a word I just said? I said I love you and all you have to say is that I’m dating Poe? I don’t have time for this Ben. Leave me alone.” She pulled her arms free from his grasp and ran for her house. Her heard the click of her locking the door behind her. 

“She loves me?”


	19. Chapter 19

Ben: Rey it’s Ben. Your grandpa gave me your number. Can we please talk about this?

Ben: Rey I know you are getting these. 

Ben: Talk to me.

Ben: Why didn’t you tell me before?

Ben: Rey-Rey. Please. You are driving me crazy.

Ben: I had no idea! If I would have known I would have, I don’t know, but I would have done something.

Ben: Rey your grandpa says you have barely been leaving your room and skipping swim practice. Let me fix this.

Ben: Me again. Your grandpa was by earlier to visit with Leia. He said you stayed home from school. Are you sick?

Ben: Should I come and check on you?

 

Poe: Hey Rey, why didn’t you talk to me at school today?

Poe: Is it because you’re uncomfortable around me now?

Poe: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m an idiot.

Poe: Please don’t stop talking to me though.

Poe: I don’t want to lose you.

Poe: Where were you today? I didn’t see you at school.

 

Finn: Hey girl, why have you been avoiding me at school?

Finn: I want to know how dinner went with Poe. Did he say anything about me?

Finn: Okay for real, what’s going on?

Finn: I’m worried about you Rey. First you avoid me all week now you aren’t at school. This isn’t like you. 

Finn: Swim meet was awful without you.

Finn: I tried stopping by, but your grandpa wouldn’t let me in. He said you were sick.

 

Each text was left unanswered and unopened. They didn’t deserve an answer. They were all the reason she was in the stupid situation. Men are dumb. Except her grandpa. He was so great. He had been taking care of her ever since Friday. He would check on her, bring her food, make sure she was eating, buy her sweets to make her feel better. None of it helped, but it was the thought that counts. He even let her stay home one day. 

 

Hopefully the boys would get the hint that she didn’t want to talk. She had to turn her phone off at one point because it was blowing up with messages. She was running out of things to do. All her homework she got before the break was already done. She  re-read her favorite books. She could only watch TV so much. There was nothing good on anyways. Everything just reminded her that it was Christmas and she was alone. 

 

Nothing made her happy anymore. She tried baking some cookies one day, but she ended up burning them. She hadn’t burned them since she was.. No she had never burned her cookies before. She liked them chewy so she always got them out early. She knew she was upset, but she didn’t realize it was this bad. 

 

Rey found herself just sleeping the days away. She couldn’t go anywhere in her truck because of the snow. Not that she would go anywhere if she could. There would be no one to go with. She decided to check her texts finally. Each one broke her heart a little more. Why was she torturing herself like this? She didn’t owe those men anything. They have all been asking way too much of her. It’s all their fault. Why should she be miserable? She deserved to be happy dammit. 

 

She continued scrolling through her texts and started to find them amusing. Funny actually. It stopped being funny when she got a new text message. It was from Ben.

 

Ben: Rey I love you.

 

How dare he? Does he seriously think that saying I love you a full week later was okay? What does he expect at this point? Does he think that this made everything okay? Rey was furious. Thousands of questions were spinning around her head. It was almost making her dizzy. There was only one way she was going to get answers. 

 

Rey grabbed her coat, put on her shoes and headed straight for Ben’s house. It was late so she had to sneak out of the house. That wasn’t an issue though. Her grandpa had been asleep for hours already and he didn’t check on her during the night. 

 

She pounded on the door until it opened. Ben looked worse than she had ever seen him. He was worse than when he got into the big fight with Jessika. That didn’t matter. She was finally going to speak her mind. She owed it to herself. “How dare you Benjamin Solo! You have some nerve sending me that! What did you think was gonna happen? Did you think I’d come running over here and head straight into your arms? No. You know what, you may be eight years older than me, but you sure are acting like a child.” She was completely out of breath, but boy did that feel good. She’d never been so honest in her life. She normally kept all of this stuff bottled up.

 

“Are you done?” was all he said.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good.” Within a matter of seconds he closed the distance between them and was feasting on her lips. She wanted to fight. She did. She knew that if she told him to stop or get off he would. But she didn’t. She just let it happen. Her hands made their way into his hair and to pull him deeper into the kiss. 

 

This was better than anything she could have ever imagined, and she had imagined it many times. Ben grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist without ever breaking their kiss. He slammed the door then pinned her against it. She was caged in and she was loving every second of it. 

 

Rey wasn’t sure who broke the kiss first. Both of them convulsed while their lungs struggled to take in air. Ben lighty rested his forehead against hers. 

 

“Uh oh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Am I right people. Ben finally grew a pair. Let me know what you thought. Sorry about the shorter chapter, but the next one is extra long. I generally try to make them 1000 words. Chapter 20 is like 1600 words. Toodles.


	20. Chapter 20

“Rey, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Me too.” 

“This is wrong.” he whispered.

“Yes. It is.” she agreed. 

She claimed his lips again with a new sense of urgency. She dropped her feet to the ground and started pulling at his shirt. He left her lips only long enough to tug his shirt off. He was perfect like a porcelain doll. It had a few cracks here and there, but that was what made it perfect. She explored each and every scar with her hands. Ben stopped her hands when they got down to the lining of his pants. Rey looked at him with pleading eyes. She wanted this. This was all she wanted. And dammit she deserved it too! 

Ben took her hand into his and lead her away from the entrance and towards his bedroom. Rey was sure her heart was going to leap out of her chest. There was a million different reasons not to do this. She was only 17, Ben was 25, she had snuck out of the house, It would crush Poe if he knew, Ben just got out of a long term relationship, the reasons were endless. For once in her life though she wasn’t going to listen to her head. Her head always warned her about the consequences. This time she was going to listen to her heart. Her heart told her that this was a risk, but one worth taking. 

Rey always did the right thing. Go to bed on time, do all her homework, do the chores, smile, not speak out of turn. Well that had all been thrown to the wind now that she knew how good it felt to be bad. 

Once they were in his bedroom he started taking off her clothes beginning with her coat. Every touch set her body on fire. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little scared. She trusted Ben though. He wouldn’t hurt her and she wouldn’t want her first time to be with anyone else. 

She lost herself in his touch and the next thing she knew she was in her bra and underwear. She was lucky when she noticed they matched perfectly. She was behind on the wash so she had coincidentally put on her nice stuff. She tried to hold off on wearing it unless it was a special occasion. She didn’t want to wreck them. 

She hoped to God that this wasn’t another dream. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was, but she would never be able to look Ben in the eyes again. He laid her down on the bed tenderly as if she was made of glass. She hoped he didn’t keep that up. She wasn’t going to break. She wasn’t here for him to shake her hand and play nice. She wanted to play dirty. He removed his pants and kicked them away. 

His arousal was obvious through his black underwear. He looked huge. It made sense considering everything else about him was equally as big. He climbed over her so that he was hovering right above her face. 

“Rey are you sure about this? Once we do this there is no going back.”

She kissed him as an answer. It didn't matter what she said. They were past the point of no return already. He was her endgame. Nothing else mattered. 

His kisses grew more and more passionate, but it still felt like he was holding back with her. He moved down to her neck which made her toes curl. She wanted him to feel as good and as she did. She snuck one of her hands between them to rub his massive erection. He groaned into her ear almost immediately. She was guessing that meant he liked it. She wasn’t experienced in this arena, but she knew enough. 

He was attacking her neck now and thrusting into her hand. This was what she wanted. She wanted Ben completely unhinged. There would probably be marks on her neck in the morning, but that’s nothing makeup can’t fix. 

He felt so good. She let a silent, “Fuck.” out. Apparently it wasn’t as silent as she thought because his hips and mouth stopped at once. He pulled away from her neck and hovered only inches away from her face. 

“What was that?” He spoke with a seduction in his voice that Rey had never heard before. 

“Nothing.” She went to reclaim his lips, but he moved out of range. She was confused. Did he not want this anymore?

“Didn’t I say there would be consequences if you spoke like that again?” Now she was following him. She was surprised to hear him so sure of himself. He didn’t falter his words at all.

“Yes sir.”

“Very good. Now it was a very naughty word that you said. Should I punish you for that or let it slip?”

“I deserve to be punished.” He was happy with her answer. There was a new darkness in his eyes. A new purpose. He seemed like he was only just now exploring this himself. She wondered if he was ever like this with Jessika. She guessed not.

“Be a good girl and flip over.” She did it in and instant. “Good. Now stick your ass in the air for me.” 

She waited in anticipation for what was to come. A minute passed and she began to wonder if he was still there. Her head was buried in the pillow so she couldn’t see. Then with a loud smack he brought his hand down and struck her bottom. She let out a little whimper. That hurt, but it also sent waves of pleasure through her body that she didn't understand. What she did understand was that she wanted him to do it again. How could she get him to do it again? She shook her butt which was still high up in the air and he smacked her ass once again. This time he did it even harder. It still wasn’t hard enough.

“Harder.” she begged. 

Instead of spanking her again he seemed to move further away. She snuck a glance his way and saw him bending down. When he stood back up she snapped her head back. She heard a sort of jingle then something came down hard on her ass. It wasn’t his hand this time. It was his belt. “Harder.” she cried. He came down on her with the belt again, then again, and again. 

Finally he dropped it with a thud and he flipped her back pulling her to the edge of the bed. He ripped off her underwear like a ravenous dog then sunk to his knees. He didn’t hesitate before diving in between her legs. She’s never felt a man down there before. Or anyone for that matter. Her stomach rejoiced with butterflies at the new touch. This was all foreign to her, but she was pretty sure this was how it was supposed to feel. 

He focused on her nub which seemed to be a little bundle of nerves. She’d never felt to good in her life. She didn’t want to wake Leia, but she couldn’t stop the moans that were escaping her lips. Something was building up inside of her, but Ben didn’t let up. She let out a loud cry that probably woke up the neighbors as everything became too much. Finally Ben slowed down. He placed a few kisses on her thighs then walked over to his dresser. He came back holding some kind of small foil. 

It was a condom. Wow they were really doing this. She was glad he was thinking about stuff like that because her head was up in the clouds thousands of miles from here. It wouldn’t have even occurred to her that they would need a condom. She wasn’t on birth control or anything. He slipped his boxers off and tore open the wrapper. 

He was more impressive that she initially thought. He was going to split her in two. He rolled the condom over his painfully hard member and started walking towards her. His face said it all. He was going to take her right then and there. No holding back. He positioned himself at her entrance without even asking. He didn’t need to. They were past that. He owned her; body and soul. 

He sunk all the way in right away. She bit her lip to keep from screaming. She bit so hard she could taste her own blood. He began plowing into her with a relentless force. Her eyes were watering from the pain. He noticed, but didn’t let up. She needed this and he knew it. He started kissing her to distract from the agony between her thighs. His kisses were soft and sweet unlike the way he was fucking her. The pain started to feel good the slightest bit. The kisses helped. He moved down from her mouth and landed on her breast which were still covered. That didn’t stop him. He was determined to make her feel good. 

Her face was contorted in pleasure. She was right where he wanted her. Completely at his mercy. He had never acted like this with Jessika. Jessika wore the pants in the relationship. Now that he was finally free to do what he wanted, he was going to live out his darkest fantasies. He brought his head up to her ear and whispered, “Cum for me baby.” Her whole body began shaking underneath his right away. He was right there with her. 

He hissed out a, “Fuck.” as he met his release. He collapsed on top of her shortly after probably crushing her with his weight in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	21. Chapter 21

It was late December, yet she was roasting under the covers. No not the covers, there was someone partially draped over her. The series of events from the night before came flooding back. This wasn't her room. It was Ben’s. She slept with Ben. Not like she did before. She had sex with him last night, and they were both naked still. 

Ben didn’t seem to be up yet, but she had to go. Her grandpa would notice she was gone eventually. She crept out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping beast. It didn’t help when the floors started creaking. Quickly she found her clothes that were strewn across the floor and put them on. She had to trash the panties because they were torn to shreds. She felt wrong just leaving him without saying anything. She didn’t want it to seem like this was just a one night stand to her. She should leave a note. 

Dear Ben,  
Last night was amazing. Hopefully you feel the same. Sorry I had to leave before you got up. I have to get back before my grandpa notices that I left. I will be over later for the party. I’m bringing chocolate cake that is almost as sweet as you. Text me when you wake up.   
P.S. You owe me a new pair of panties as replacement for the ones you ripped off me last night.   
-Rey

Now she felt better. She left the note right next to his phone on the nightstand. She cast one final glance his way before leaving. 

Her grandpa wasn’t up yet when she got back. Thank God. She needed to text Poe and Finn and remind them about the party later. Well, she wasn’t sure if she ever told Finn, but he was coming whether he wanted to or not. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too mad about her being MIA the past few days. 

 

Rey: Hey guys. Party later at Ben’s. Don’t forget. I need you both there. Starts at 6.  
Finn: What? You didn’t tell me about any party?  
Poe: Seriously? I thought you wouldn’t want me to come, but I’ll be there.  
Finn: Why wouldn’t she want you there?  
Rey: Of course I want you there. Just be there you two. Now zip it, I’m busy.  
Finn: Okay mom.  
Poe: See you later Rey..

 

Her phone kept buzzing with messages while she baked her cake for the party. She was making a peppermint chocolate bundt cake with candy cane pieces. She made it every Christmas. People went crazy for it. Who doesn’t love chocolate cake?

Rey's thoughts were swirling again. They were mostly about Finn. She still hadn’t told him about Poe’s confession and now she couldn’t even tell him about losing her virginity. She felt bad keeping secrets, but Ben could get into serious trouble if anyone knew about them. She turns eighteen in January luckily, but until then they aren’t safe.

Most of her thoughts surrounded her shame and guilt. The Rey from last night wouldn’t have let her feel guilty, but then again, she wasn’t the Rey from last night. That wasn’t even her, it was someone else. What came over her? Her butt was still sore. That’s when she remembered. Her neck. She had to cover it up before her grandpa saw. The world has a funny sense of humor because her grandpa took that exact moment to enter the room.

“Good morning Rey. I’m glad to see you up and about. Are you feeling better?”

Rey had to turn her head in a weird uncomfortable way so that he couldn’t see her neck. “Much better.”

“Oh, I see you are making cake. Is today the party already? Time really flies huh?”

“Yup. I’ll be right back grandpa.” She practically ran out of the room after that. She was lucky she realized she needed to cover her neck before her grandpa walked in. The marks were worse than she had initially thought. Her entire neck was covered in red and purple splotches. Love bites, left there by Ben. It was like he marked his territory. She started getting worried about seeing him again. Would he be embarrassed by what they had done? Would he want nothing to do with her now that they had sex? Maybe all he wanted was a quick fuck. 

Rey was always ready for the worst. She expected it at this point. Everything good in her life eventually got ripped away from her. You never quite get over losing your parents. Sometimes she wished they were dead, even though she knew they weren’t. It would just make it so much easier if they were. She wouldn’t ever have to wonder again if they were coming back. She wouldn’t have to wonder why they left her. She wouldn’t have to ask herself why she wasn’t enough for them. Fourteen years later and these thoughts still plagued her every night before bed and in her dreams. 

They were the reason she worked so hard to be perfect. She wanted to prove that she was doing fine, better even, all without them. They would never know, but Rey knew and that was all that mattered. 

She heard her phone ding while she was covering up her neck. It was probably one of the boys asking her more stuff about tonight. She picked up her phone to check her messages and tell them to F off.

 

Ben: Rey, last night was better than amazing, it was perfect. Hope you aren’t too sore today. Sorry about the panties, I am more than happy to buy you a new pair so long as I get to see you in them. Why don’t you come over around five before the party starts? I’m dying to see you again.   
Rey: I’m not sure. Are you going to make it worth my while?  
Ben: Come and find out.  
Rey: See you at 5

 

She was falling for him harder every day. This was only going to end in one of two ways; tears of joy or tears of sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woke up to 100 kudos so there will be an extra chapter today. I feel like 100 isn't a lot compared to some of the fics I've seen on here, but it's a lot to me. This is only my second fanfiction ever. I hope you guys are enjoying it though. I think I'm going to start a new one once this one is over. Don't worry though, it's not over until the fat lady sings. Btw I actually make a chocolate and peppermint bundt cake for Christmas. Everyone goes crazy for it. It take an entire day to make. Anyways, 2 more chapters are on their way. Toodles.


	22. Chapter 22

Finally it was 5 o’clock. Ever since Ben texted her she couldn't wait for five to come. Her hair was done. Pulled off to the side in a low bun. Her makeup was simple, but she added a pop of red on her lips to go with her dress. She was looking sexy as hell and wasn’t afraid to say it. Ben was going to lose it when he saw her. She threw on her coat and headed for the door. 

“Rey? Where are you going? I thought the party didn’t start until six.” It was her grandpa. She almost forgot about him.

“Oh. Yeah it is. Ben asked me if I would help him with the finishing touches. Put out the food. Turn on all the lights. Stuff like that.”

“Well should I come too? Does he need my help?”

“No! It’s not that much work. You just get ready and be there by six. Could you hand me my cake over there?” He turned around, picked up the cake, and handed it to her.

“Here you go. Well let me know if you need me. I’ll be here.”

“Thanks. See you in an hour. Bye.”

Rey had to stand on one foot and kick the door with her other so she could knock. She had two hands holding the cake which left none for the door. 

“Merry Christmas Ben!” 

“I think you’re a few days early with that, but I’ll take it. Merry Christmas Rey. Come in please.”

“Wow the place looks amazing. You’ve been busy I see. This is for you by the way. Baked it myself.”

“It looks delicious,” Ben said looking straight at Rey. “Would you go put that in the kitchen then meet me in the living room?”

“Oh, sure.” She made her way to the kitchen to set the cake down. Every surface was covered with food. Mashed potatoes, ham, salad, rolls, carrots, apple pie. That was even half. It was all cooked to perfection too. Ben was a skilled cook, but she had no idea he was capable of this. He was really good with his hands so it made sense. She had to move a few things around to make room for her cake. It took a minute, but she finally succeeded. 

When she got into the living room Ben was sitting next to the fireplace and Christmas tree. It all looked so warm and cozy. Normally her holiday’s were bland and boring. This one would be anything but. She noticed a small red package in his hands. 

“Come here kid.” Rey walked up to him suddenly suspicious. Upon further examination she realized that it wasn’t just any package, he was holding a present with her name on it. Rey sat down next to him and awaited his explanation. 

“Rey. I want you to know that I have always considered you to be family. Even if I secretly always hoped that we would one day become more than that. We were never related by blood. No, we chose to take our broken families and mash them into a whole one. I don’t know if it can ever replace the family you lost, but maybe this will help. This is for you Rey.” 

He handed her the little red present. It was so pretty Rey almost didn’t want to wreck the wrapping. Ben gave her a little nudge to go on and open it so she did. It was a picture frame?

“Um thanks? I have a few pictures that woul-. Is that Leia in the picture? And Han? Who are those people with them? Wow, Leia is so beautiful. Oh Ben I can’t take this. It should stay with Leia.”

“Rey, those are your parents.” Her heart stopped beating.

“What?”

“Yeah, apparently Leia knew them back in her rebellious days. You hadn’t been born yet, obviously. She said they seemed really in love. Your mom was named Raven, and your dads name was Raymond. I wonder where they came up with Rey.” 

That made her giggle. Rey was still fighting back tears though. She wasn’t sure if they were happy or sad tears. On one hand she was seeing her parents, and on the other hand she was seeing.. her parents. “When, um, when did Leia tell you all this? I’m assuming she told you anyways.” 

“Just the other day. I didn’t believe her what with the dementia and all, but then she showed me this. Rey you look exactly like your mother. I couldn’t deny the evidence right in front of my face. I knew you had to have it.”

“You did this for me? When I wasn’t even talking to you?”

“Rey I’ve known you a long time. We fight. We make up. It’s what we do. It makes me appreciate what I have while I have it.”

“Oh Ben. Thank you. I love it. I love you.” She flung her arms around him and just held on.

“I love you too Rey.” 

Eventually she had to pull away. “I feel bad now. I didn’t get you anything for Christmas.”

“I don’t need anything. I have what I wished for. You.” That gave Rey an idea.

“Hey how long ‘til the guests arrive?”

“Probably like another 45 minutes. Why?”

“And where is Leia?”

“Showering then getting ready. Again, why?”

“I just want to make sure I have enough time to give you your Christmas present.”

“But I thought you just said-.” Rey started groping him through his black tailored suit. She was going to pay him back whether he liked it or not, but she was pretty sure he was going to like it. She sunk to her knees before him and started unbuckling his belt. “Rey you don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to. I just want to make you feel as good as you made me feel last night. Remember what you did with your tongue?”

He was completely out of his trousers now and she was stroking him back and forth. “Yes, I remember quite well,” he got out through gritted teeth.

“Well that gave me an idea. I want to try something different. Do I have your permission?”

“Yes. Yes. Just please.” He didn’t finish, but Rey knew what he meant. She couldn’t help teasing him a little first. He made her wait years for this. He could wait another minute. 

She gave him a few shy licks. She wasn’t exactly sure of what she was doing, but from the look on his face she was doing something right. She stroked him with her tongue all the way from root to tip. When she reached the tip she have it a chaste little kiss. This was agonizing. 

He let out a strangled cry and pumped his hips slightly. She wasn’t moving though. He needed more. He needed movement. He was done with the cutesy stuff. He fisted her hair and pulled her head down onto his cock. She took it all in one go. He was surprised when she didn’t gag. She was already better at this then she knew. He started pumping in and out of her pretty red mouth. He couldn’t wait to ruin that lipstick. She just sat there and took it like a good girl. Ben wanted to ask himself where this girl had been all his life, but the answer was right in front him.

God she felt too good. He was hitting the very back of her throat with every thrust. “Rey, I’m gonn-.” 

He didn’t have time to ask if it was okay first before spilling into her mouth. Still she took it like a champ and swallowed when he withdrew from her mouth. She even licked her lips clean afterwards. She was perfect.

“God I love you. Come here sugar lips.” He pulled her into his lap and kissed her until her mouth was red and raw. Well maybe the red was from the lipstick. Not that it mattered. He could kiss her forever.

“Rey is that you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Ben was really dumb and inconsiderate of Rey's feelings in the beginning, but you guys how sweet is he now? Also I really love how he can be super sweet when he needs to be, but can be super rough with the flip of a switch. He's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Anyways hope you guys enjoyed the sexy times. Now it's party time! What am I up to? Toodles.


	23. Chapter 23

Rey couldn’t move. If she turned around they would see her horribly messed up makeup, and if she got off Ben they would see his dick. It was a lose lose situation.

“Hey mom. Can you give us a minute?” How was he staying so calm? Did this happen a lot?

“Oh sure dear. Be quick though. I want to catch up with sweet little Rey.” She walked out of the room oblivious to what had been happening between the two. 

“That was close. Why don’t you get cleaned up in the bathroom down the hall? I’m gonna clean myself up in my bathroom.”

“Okay. Thank you again for my present. It was perfect.”

“Thanks yourself.” He gave her a quick kiss then headed upstairs. 

Rey was still trying to wrap her head around everything. This was everything she ever wanted. She had been in love with Ben practically her whole life. Now her dreams were finally coming true. Still, she had this sick feeling that something was going to happen and that it wouldn’t last. Just like everything else in her life.

She looked up in the bathroom and nearly screamed. She looked like a clown that had a bad night. Her face was covered in red lipstick and saliva. Rey ran some toilet paper under the tap and tried scrubbing it off. That wasn’t going to work. She needed a makeup wipe or something. Maybe there would be some underneath the cabinet.

She started rifling through the cabinet, but it seemed to be mostly cleaning supplies. Way in the back she saw a pink package. Maybe that was it. Rey stretched her arms and reached way back into the cabinet. She couldn't quite reach it. She had to really extend her arms, but finally she latched on and pulled out the pink pregnancy tests?   
Why would these be here? Leia wasn’t getting pregnant anytime soon, and these looked recently purchased too. The box was open. There was clearly one or more missing from the box. Her stomach plummeted. Jessika. 

Could she be pregnant? No, she would have told Ben if she was. And if she did then Ben would have told Rey. Right? She couldn’t deal with this right now. She was finally happy. Her mind was just making up ridiculous scenarios. She threw the tests back into the cabinet and finally found the wipes. 

It didn’t take her long to clean her face after finding the wipes. Her makeup was completely gone, but that was fine. She still looked amazing. Thank God she didn’t getting anything on her dress. It was too beautiful to get dirty.

When Rey got out Leia was sitting at the counter. “Rey. You look simply beautiful.”

“Me? No look at you. Leia you are the definition of beauty.”

“Oh that’s kind of you. Maybe a long time ago in a place far, far away. But now I’m old and grey. I’ve accepted it. Tell me Rey. Do you love my son?”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“Oh come now Rey. I’m old, but I’m not dumb. It’s okay you can answer honestly. I never did like that Jessika.”

“I do love him. I’m so sorry Leia. Please don’t hate me. I know you always considered me the daughter you never had. I even considered you the mother I never knew. If you tell me not to see him anymore then I won't.”

“Hate? Rey, I couldn’t think of anyone more perfectly suited for my son. And yes, I considered you a daughter. But if you two were to ever get married then you would actually be my daughter. And that would make me happier than you could ever know. All I ever wanted was for my son to be happy. I failed at that Rey, but you could still make him happy. He’s happier now that he ever was with that evil witch.”

“Oh Leia. You have no idea what it means to me to have your approval.”

“Hey what are my two favorite ladies talking about?” Ben walked back in the room. 

“This food. It looks exquisite. Doesn’t it Rey?”

“It really does. I don’t know where he finds the time to do it.”

“Well let’s get this party started. Mom, Rey, what can I get you two to drink?”

“We’ll both have red wine.” Leia announced. Rey was very much underage. Why would she suggest something like that? Maybe she forgot how old Rey was. 

“Mom, Rey is only seventeen.”

“I’ll be eighteen in less than a month though.”

“Hush Ben. Who’s going to tell? You? Me? Shit, I’ll forget soon anyways. Now make our drinks.” That was the end of that. Ben put Leia's in a wine glass and Rey’s in a plastic cup. He probably didn’t want anyone to question it. 

“Thank you. Hey so how many people are supposed to show up to this thing?” Rey asked.

“Oh uh not many. I invited a few old high school buddies, some friends from college, some family, and a few other people.”

“Well did you send out invites or did you ask everyone individually?”

“I sent out invites.”

“So how many did you send?”

“Like two-hundred or something like that..”

“Two-hundred! That’s a few to you?”

“Well not all of them are going to come. Only probably like fifty will show up.”

“Well I can’t wait Ben. Thank you for doing this for me.” Leia hummed.

There was a knock on the door and Ben went to get it while Rey sipped her wine. It was bitter. She thought it might be sweet. It was made of fruit after all. The more she sipped the more the taste grew on her. It was kind of like dark chocolate. It was an acquired taste. Her cheeks started feeling all warm and fuzzy. 

Ben walked back in with her grandpa. She already forgot he was coming. Maybe the wine wasn’t such a good idea. She needs to keep her wits about her. Her grandpa couldn’t know about them. She trusted Ben and Leia not to say anything. It was herself she didn’t trust. “Hey grandpa.”

“Wow Rey, you look even better than you did last week with Poe. He’s coming right?”

Damn. She forgot about Poe. Her grandpa still thought they were dating. The look on Ben’s face said that he forgot about Poe too. She still hadn’t told him that Poe and her weren’t actually dating. She really should tell him. Maybe she could get him alone for a minute. Before she could ask him for a minute alone there was another knock on the door. People would be arriving constantly for the next hour or two. She would just have to tell him when it was over, or maybe tomorrow.

A hoard of people rushed in all at once. Old sports buddies no doubt. Each one looked dumber than a sack of potatoes. There were a few though that looked like they had never even held a football. Medical school buddies. 

Rey shouldn’t judge though. They could all be idiots or they could be geniuses. Rey needed a breather. Everyone was in the kitchen. Rey made her way out to the living room. Nobody was in there yet. She sat down on the kitchen and just listened to the music playing. It was going to be a long night. At least Finn would be there soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, do you guys think Jessika is pregnant? If so why wouldn't she have told Ben about it? Only time will tell I guess. My lips are sealed. I do not condone underage sex or drinking by the way. Sometimes a girl's just gotta live a little ya know? Oh yeah and Leia ships it. Hell yeah. Rest In Peace Carrie Fisher. Let me know what you guys are thinking. Toodles.


	24. Chapter 24

Rey’s eyes snapped open when she felt a hand rubbing up her thigh. She slapped the hand away instantly. “Ow!”

“Finn what the actual fuck.”

“Haha just messing with you. What are you doing sleeping on the couch girl? It’s time to party!” Poe was standing next to him. 

“For the record, I told him not to do it.”

“Get up. Let’s dance!” There were people everywhere now. So much for fifty people because there was already one-hundred people easily. Finn didn’t look like he was going to take no for an answer. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up nearly spilling her wine. 

“Come on Rey. This is such a good song.” Rey gulped down the rest of her wine, set down her cup, then went to dance.

“Yes. Show off them moves Kenobi!” The living room had become a makeshift dance floor. Poe, Finn and Rey were all dancing in the middle of it all. She was actually having fun. She missed these guys. She was sandwiched between the two of them. Poe was right up behind her and Finn was right in front of her.

Rey wasn’t normally a confident dancer, but she was on fire right now. She was really just swaying her hips, but still, it was the best swaying she had ever done. Her head felt kinda fuzzy, but that was okay. It was probably just all the lights. 

Poe was practically grinding up against her. She didn’t care. You only live once. Finn didn’t seem to mind so why should she. 

“Hey you look like you could use a drink,” some guy yelled at her. Woah was he tall. She was thirsty. And he seemed harmless enough. 

“Yeah I am! Guys keep dancing! I’ll be right back.” Rey wasn’t sure that Poe and Finn heard her over the music, but they gave her a small nod. The mystery guy gave her a smile and led her out of the crowd.

“I’m Chewie by the way.”

“Oh, that’s an interesting name. I’ve never heard that before. I’m Rey. So how do you know Ben?” He started pouring her another cup of wine. How old did he think she was? Oh well. When in Rome. 

“We went to school together.”

“Oh cool. High school or college?”

“High school. We played basketball together.” That seemed about right. His head probably hit the hoop. Rey was straining her neck just looking up at him. “What about you?”

“Oh I’m…” She wasn’t his girlfriend. Was she? “I’m his neighbor. I just live right next door.”

“Oh good. I was worried you were his girlfriend or something since I didn’t recognize you. Then again high school was a long time ago. I was surprised when he sent me an invite.”

What was she supposed to say to that? No, I’m not his girlfriend, but I did give him a blowjob earlier. “So what about you? Any girlfriend?” That wasn’t the right question. Her brain wasn’t working right. She took a sip of wine to clear her head.

“Me? No. Just haven’t found the right girl yet. Hey do you wanna dance?”

“Yeah totally!” 

This time Rey led him out to the dance floor. She was having so much fun. Hopefully Ben was too. Wherever he was. 

Rey found Finn and Poe dancing together. Finn looked like he was having a ball. Poe looked less excited, but not upset either. Rey tugged Chewie into the circle and started dancing. He was actually a really good dancer. That was probably just the wine talking. He gave her a little twirl which really had her head spinning. She stopped for a second to get her footing then started dancing again. His hands found her hips and they started swaying in unison.

He smelled really good. Wow was he hairy too! Not that she cared. She just let herself be in the moment. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. When she turned around Poe didn’t seem happy. Actually he looked furious. 

Finn on the other hand looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. He didn’t even seem to notice Poe’s anger. Finn only noticed when Poe went stomping off somewhere. 

“Poe!” Rey called out. 

“Geez what is his problem? Should I go after him?” Finn asked. 

“No, let me. You two keep dancing. I’ll be back okay?” Chewie and Finn both nodded at her in response.

Rey lost Poe in the crowd. There was too many people here. How was she supposed to find anyone in this?  
“Rey?”

“Maz!”

“Dear I haven’t seen you since you were smaller than me. Look at you. You’re all grown up.”

Maz was one of Han’s old friends. She really didn’t have anytime to catch up though. “Maz I’d really love to catch up, but I’m actually looking for someone. Have you seen a guy in a red Christmas suit?”

“Oh yes. I think he’s up on the roof. You don’t really still believe in Santa do you Rey?”

“No not a Santa suit. It’s red and has Christmas trees and as snowmen on it.”

“I know. I’m just teasing. I think the one you seek is outside.”

“Thanks Maz. See you in a bit.”

Rey made her way to the back sliding glass door. It was too late to go grab her jacket. She had no idea where she even put it. She slid the door open and there he was. Poe was sitting down on the stairs that led to the pool. She sighed then went and sat next to him. Surely this wasn’t going to be good and she wasn’t in the state to deal with it. 

“You didn’t have to come out here. I’m fine.”

“No you aren’t.”

“No I’m not.”

“What’s wrong Poe?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. It’s my fault isn’t it?” Poe stood up and walked away. Not far, but just enough to get some distance.

“I came here expecting you to be all over Ben. You said he was the one for you. Then I get here and I see you dancing with just some random guy. I mean his hands were all over you Rey. I wanted to rip him apart.”

Rey stood as well and walked his way. “Poe..” 

He turned towards her so they were face to face. “No. Don’t. I don’t get it Rey. You say you want to be with Ben. The entire reason I’m here is because you wanted him to see you as an adult. Why would you even ask me here if you were just going to let random guys feel you up? I told you how I felt about you and you said you felt the same. So why Rey? I just don’t understand.”

“Poe, it’s complicated…”

“What’s so complicated about this?”

“Wha-”

Her words were cut short by his lips. Poe was kissing her. No this wasn’t right. It felt right. It felt really right. But it wasn’t. She pulled away so she could say, “No.”

“Shh. I know you want this.” This was strangely reminiscent of her nightmare a few weeks ago. In the dream it was Ben who had said those words. Poe once again forcefully claimed her lips. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her. Where was Ben? 

“No, Poe. Please stop!”

Rather than stopping he slipped his hand under her dress. Normally she would kick and scream, but her body wasn’t responding to her thoughts.

She suddenly lost her footing and was knocked to the ground. She hit her head hard on the cement. The snow was so pretty from down on the ground. It made her feel like she was flying through space passing the stars. Then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll thought Poe was so sweet and kind, but it turns out he's just as bad as everyone else. Who will come to Rey's aid? Let me know what you guys think. Toodles.


	25. Chapter 25

“Rey! Wake up.” Her eyes fluttered open and Ben was crouched above her.

“What happened? My head really hurts.” She tried sitting up, but she started seeing stars instantly. 

“Just lay down for a minute. You don’t remember what happened? I was coming to look for you and Maz said you went outside. Rey, Poe was forcing himself on you. You were telling him “No no,” but he wasn’t stopping. I knocked him off of you, but unfortunately I also knocked you out in the process.” 

Rey was really confused and she was having a hard time focusing on his words. The pain in her head was pounding so hard she could actually hear it. “What happened?” she asked again.

“Never mind that now. You might have a concussion. Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?” 

“What?” She didn’t understand what was happening.

“Okay. That’s it. Wrap your arms around my neck. We need to get you inside.” Rey could do that. Ben picked her up bridal style and brought her inside. The party was still in full swing. Music was blaring and lights were shining. She felt like she was going to puke. She wasn’t sure if it was from the wine or the fall, but if didn’t get to a bathroom soon it wasn’t going to matter. 

Ben brought her to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed. She sat right up and ran for the bathroom. She made it just in time and started puking violently. She didn’t have time to shut the door, so Ben could probably hear her. This was nasty, he shouldn’t have to hear or see this. 

Suddenly Ben was beside her and pulling her hair back out of her face. She really didn’t want him there, but she didn’t have time to tell him that in between her puking and gasping for air. “I should have never left you alone. I’m sorry Rey. The wine probably wasn’t a good idea either.”

With a flush of the toilet she was finally feeling slightly better. She wasn’t queasy anymore, but her head was still killing. “Here’s some mouthwash. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

“Okay.” Where would she go? She swished the listerine around in her mouth then spit. She needed to rest. She got up and went to lay in his bed. It was so warm and soft. She loved Ben’s bed. Mostly because it was his, but it was also just really comfy. She decided to close her eyes and try to take a nap. 

“Hey Rey I’m back. Wake up.”

“Mmmm, hi.” She sat up slowly. How long had she been out?

“Rey, I talked to your grandpa. You’re staying here with me tonight.”

“Okay yay. Hey what happened to Poe and Finn?”

“Well Finn saw everything that happened. When I punched Poe off of you he helped him get up and walk away. They probably left.”

“Finn saw everything?”

“Yeah. The guy just stood there. Can you believe that? He didn’t even try to help you. What a best friend.”

“I need to find Finn. I need to talk to him.” Rey tried getting up out of bed, but Ben stopped her.

“Not so fast little lady. Come here. You aren’t leaving my arms until the morning.”

“But Ben, I need to find him and explain, and what about the party?”

“Screw the party. You are way more important. I’ll clean everything up tomorrow. Why don’t we get you changed.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Good. Here’s one of my old shirts.”

“Uh what is The First Order?”

“It’s an old shirt from high school. They were like one of my favorite bands.”

“No, no I’m not judging. I think it’s cute. Will you help me with my dress?”

“Sure.” This was so different from the last time they were in this room. Last time he was hard and rough, now he was being gentle and kind. He just wanted to take care of her. It was nice to know he had various sides to him. In a way this was way better than last night. This showed that he cared about her. It wasn’t all about her body for him. The dress fell to her feet and Ben pulled the shirt on over her head. 

“Black suits you.”

“And kindness suits you. Your turn.”

“My turn for what?”

“Well as handsome as that suit is on you, I don’t think it would be very comfortable to sleep in. Strip Solo.”

“Well then take a seat and enjoy the show Kenobi.”

Was he really going to do a stip tease for her? Apparently so because he starting unbotting his waistcoat. It was painstakingly slow. Rey just watched and let the scene before her unfold. Damn was he sexy too!

Finally he got his top few layers off and he threw each one at her. First the coat. Then the waistcoat. Then the black button up. Why did a man so pale wear so much dark colored clothing. It did match his hair. Rey caught each article of clothing like a fangirl at a concert. 

Next, he started unbuckling his pants. Rey remembered she had done the same thing only hours ago. “Take ‘em off!” Rey yelled. This was way better than any strip club. This was her own personal strip tease courtesy of Ben Solo. 

Ben whipped off his belt and slammed it on the ground. He turned around so she could get a look at his butt while he took off his pants. He was really milking this. 

He shimmied his hips until his pants fell down. He turned around and looked at her with a face that said “I didn’t mean to do that except I totally did.” It was a very specific kind of look. It made Rey laugh. 

“Okay peep show is over. I’m cold.” 

“That was great. 10/10 would see again. Did you practice that?”

“Thanks, yeah I’ve been working on my routine for the past like minute, so I’m basically a professional now. Thanks for noticing.” She missed sassy Ben. He was her favorite.  
Ben pulled on some pj’s. She had only ever seen him sleep in sweats. Never in pj’s. Strangely enough they weren’t black. As he got closer she could really start to make out the pattern on them. “Oh my God. Do those pants have rudolph on them?”

“Shut up. Leia got them for me. Now scooch over.” Ben sat down on the bed and scooped Rey into his arms. 

“You’re so warm.”

“Shh. Try to go back to sleep.”

“But I’m not tired yet.”

“Well then let's talk until you are.” That gave Rey an idea. There was something she had been wanting to ask him.

“Okay. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything Rey.”

“Well, when did you realize you loved me back?” 

“That is a really good question. Well I think I always knew that I loved you. I tried to keep it suppressed, but that obviously didn’t work. I could barely even admit it to myself for the longest time. I didn’t want to believe it because I knew that either way I couldn’t have you. It finally hit me though when you were laying lifeless in my arms. Rey I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I was so devastated. I cried not because you were gone, but because I never got to tell you how I felt.”

“But you didn’t even tell me afterwards. You were still with Jessika at the time.”

“I know that. I should have told you, but you are exactly right, I was still with Jessika. All I ever wanted was to love someone and have them love me in return. I gave my heart to Jessika only for her to chew it up and spit it back out. I was only trying to be faithful to her. Just like I want to be faithful to you and only you.”

“I can understand that I guess.”

“Hey so what about you? When did you know?”  
“Oh, I didn’t expect you to ask me that. Well, I had a crush on you forever ago, since before you left for college. It was just a crush though. Nothing more. When you came back I thought I would have been over it. Nope. I think I knew that first time we danced. The Spirit of Christmas was on by Ray Charles and your hand was on my waist. That’s when I knew I wanted to spend every last dance I have with you. I knew it was more than just some crush. It was love.”

“I guess you could say that's kind of like our song then huh?”

“Yeah. I guess so.” Rey was beaming. She’d never had a song with someone before. 

“I love you so much Rey.” 

“I love you too Ben.” He planted a kiss on the top of her head. 

“Now try and get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“Okay.” She was getting tired. It didn’t take long after that for her to drift back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by Riri19911. You wanted to know when and how Ben realized he was in love with Rey. I thought that this chapter would be perfect for explaining that. Thank you for the suggestion. I loved writing this chapter so I hope you loved reading it. Toodles


	26. Chapter 26

Ben was true to his word. He held her all night. Rey could wake up like this every morning. Ben started to stir behind her. “Mm good morning sunshine.”

“Good morning yourself.” Rey gave him a little kiss on the nose then hopped out of bed. Her head was killing, but she still felt way better than last night. 

“Nooo. Where are you going?” 

“I want to brush my teeth and shower. Is that such an issue?” 

“I guess not. There are extra toothbrushes in the drawer and everything you need for a shower is already in there.”

“Thank you. You can go back to sleep if you want.” Rey went into the bathroom to find a toothbrush. It wasn’t hard. They were right where he said they would be. Rey squirted some toothpaste out onto the head of the brush and then started brushing away. She just needed to get the taste of vomit out of her mouth. Ben gave her some mouthwash last night, but that only helped so much. The taste still lingered. 

Suddenly the door opened and Rey watched in the mirror as Ben passed behind her bare ass naked. “Uhh?”

“I’ll get the shower nice and warm for you. Feel free to join me when you’re done.”

Well this isn’t how she imagined her morning going, but she wasn't going to complain. She spit out the toothpaste that remained in her mouth and stripped off her shirt. Technically it was Ben’s, but who cared. She slipped off her underwear, unhooked her bra then slipped into the shower with Ben.

Damn she was so lucky. How was he all hers? “Took you long enough. Now turn around.”

“What but I just got-”

“Turn. Around.”

He was so stubborn sometimes. She ended up turning around at his request. She felt Ben’s hands in her hair almost immediately. “Oh that feels so good.” He was washing her hair for her. The sentiment in the act hurt her heart. The shampoo made her scalp feel all tingly. On the other hand it could just be Ben. He always gave her the tingles. 

When he finished with her hair he started scrubbing her body. Whatever he was using smelled sweet like candy. She would have thought he used something more manly or musky. He was just full of surprises. He really worked up a lather as he scrubbed her skin. He was just a big teddy bear. 

When he was done Rey did the same thing for him. It was a simple act of love. He had  
to bend down a bit so she could reach his hair. She loved his hair. It was black as night and silky soft. She hoped he never cut it. 

Eventually they had to get out. They did have lives and it was Christmas Eve. They couldn’t stay in the shower forever. Ben turned off the water and handed Rey a towel. “Damn that felt nice. We should do this more often.”

“Wait, shh. Did you hear that?”

“I don’t hear anything.” All of a sudden there was a loud knocking sound coming from downstairs. “Oh, someone is probably at the door. Quick get dressed. It might be your grandpa.”

“I don’t have any clothes! What am I supposed to put on?”

“Just pull a shirt out of my closet. Any of them would look like a dress on you.” Ben and Rey hurriedly got dress then headed downstairs. The place was totally trashed. Good for her. She would tell her grandpa she had to help him clean up that way she could spend some more time with Ben.

Someone was pounding on the door now. Who would pound on the door at 9am “Rey stay back. We don’t know who this could be.”

“Just look through the peeper!”

“I don’t have a “peeper” now get behind me.” Ugh he was ridiculous. Ben swung open the door to find none other than the infamous Jessika Pava. 

“Jessika now isn’t really a good time.” Oh how the tables had turned. Now it was Rey standing in the doorframe wearing Ben’s shirt. This felt good. Rey wasn’t one to kick someone when they were down, but damn the look on her face was priceless. 

“I really need to talk to you in private Kylo.”

“Anything you have to say to me you can say to Rey.”

“Okay. Kylo I’m pregnant.” All the air vanished from Ben’s lungs.

“Jessika why don’t you come in.” Rey responded.

“Thank you.” Jessika moved past the still frozen Ben and made her way to the living room. Rey was surprisingly calm. It’s not like she was surprised. She had found the tests after all. Rey tugged on Ben to follow Jessika into the living room.

“Are you going to say anything Kylo?”

“I mean what do you want me to say Jess? You can’t just show up here like this and announce that you are pregnant.”

“Well what was I supposed to do? You wouldn’t return my calls or answer my text messages.”

“Jessika how can you even be pregnant. We always used protection and you said you were on birth control. I think you and I both know that there is a pretty good chance that this isn’t my baby.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. Kylo this is our baby.”

“Jessika what do you want from me?” Rey could only sit and watch as this all went down. 

“I want you to tell me that you love me and that you want to raise this baby with me.”

“Look Jess, if this baby is mine then of course I will be a father to it, but like I said there is a very real chance that it isn’t. Even if it is though I’m not going to tell you I love you. Jessika you and I are over. I’m with Rey. I love her.” All eyes were on Rey now. He shouldn’t have said that. 

“What? You can’t love that whore!” Jessika snapped. 

“Watch it. I will throw you out of here if I have to.”

“How dare you! You tried to make me think I was crazy when I brought up you having feeling for her. Now you’re saying you love her? Bullshit. You love me. You’ve always loved me. And you will raise this baby with me so help me God.”

“Get out Jessika. We’ll talk about this another time.”

“Fine. Bye Kylo. And you? You better watch your back princess.” 

“Out!” Ben yelled. Jessika fled after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I'm about done with this fic. I think it's about time we wrap it up. I just finished writing today. There will only be a grand total of 30 chapters. Here is an extra chapter today because we surpassed 4000 hits. Two more chapters will be out tomorrow and the last two will be out on Saturday. Let me know how you guys feel about everything. Enjoy the extra chapter. Toodles.


	27. Chapter 27

“Hey are you alright?” Rey asked once they heard Jessika slam the door on her way out.

“Of course I’m fine. I have you and that’s all I care about.”

“Ben. We should really talk about this.”

“What is there to talk about?”

“Okay well for starters, what did you mean when you said there's a chance it’s not yours? I mean you and Jessika were engaged. Who else's could it be?”

“Oh right. You don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?”

“A few months ago I caught Jessika texting some guy. The texts said stuff like, “You were so good last night. I love you. When can we meet up again?” Really shady stuff. I confronted Jessika about it, but she claimed it was an ex boyfriend harassing her. I didn’t believe her, but I also didn’t want to lose her. Then only a few days after that I caught her in bed with her so called “ex”. What an idiot I was.”

“Wait I don’t understand. If that was months ago then why were you guys still together only a week or so ago.”

“Well like I said I didn’t want to lose her. I had just gotten the news about mom and I felt like I needed her. She promised me she would never do it again.”

“So if she is pregnant. The baby could actually be his?”

“I’m telling you, it isn’t mine Rey. I used protection every time and I bought it myself too so she couldn’t have tampered with it. Please don’t let this affect us.”

“Don’t worry. I am yours and you are mine. Where would I go anyways? I only live next door.”

“Thank you. Don’t even be worried about this though. I’ll handle it.”

“Okay, okay I believe you. We should really get this place cleaned up now.”

“You’re going to stay and help me clean up?”

“Well duh. I mean what are girlf-. I mean what are neighbors for if not to help clean up after a Christmas party.” She almost said girlfriend. She wasn’t sure if she was his girlfriend or not. He told Jessika that they were together, but what did that really mean?

“I’d rather have my super hot super awesome girlfriend help me clean up, but whatever. I guess my neighbor will do.”

“Do you mean that? Do you really consider me your girlfriend?”

“Of course I do. I hope that’s okay. If it’s not then you’re still my girlfriend.” She seriously loved this man. Rey ran towards him and jumped into his arms. She planted a huge sopping wet kiss on his perfectly pouty lips. 

“Man I should have said that a while ago.” Rey tried getting down, but Ben just held on to her and started walking towards the kitchen. “Hmmm what do I want for breakfast?” Ben used his free hand to open up the fridge. 

“Ben let me down you dope.” She kicked, but he wasn’t letting her go anytime soon. 

“I think I want some Rey.”

“What? No! I’m not on the menu. Just pick something so I can get down.”

“Alright alright. Jeez. I guess waffles will have to do. Does that sound good to you?” Ben grinned.

“Yes. Now put me down.”

Ben lowered her feet to the ground and released his grip on her waist. “Thank you. Now you work on breakfast and I’ll start on the living room.”

“Sounds like a plan stan.” 

Wow this place was going to take forever to clean. There floor was covered in crumbs and cups. The pillows on the couch were missing. One of the curtains was off the rod. A few bulbs had even been knocked off the Christmas tree. Rey started by picking up all the big trash off the floor so she could vacuum. She had to get out both the mini handheld vacuum and regular one. That’s how dirty this place was. Ben would have to fix the curtain because she couldn’t reach even if she stood on the couch. Being short sucked. Rey would wish she was taller, but then she wouldn’t be the perfect little spoon for Ben. 

She loved him so much. He just told his ex-fiance off for calling her a whore. Who does that for someone? Rey couldn’t see herself ending up with anyone else. Certainly not Poe after last night. She didn’t remember all the details, but she remembered trying to push him off. After that it all goes hazy. She must have hit the ground hard. 

“Rey breakfast is ready!” Ben yelled. Rey didn’t realize just how hungry she was until that moment. She put down what she was doing and made her way to the kitchen.

“Smells good in here. Wow and you cleaned too. How are you so fast?”

“Hopefully I’m not too fast. Come sit down and eat.” Ben said with a wink.

“Mmm yummy. You are such a good chef. Where did you learn to cook like this?”

“I taught myself. I made most of my meals when I was younger, and yours for that matter. You ate like a horse back then.”

“Hey! Be respectful, I still eat like a horse thank you very much.”

“Sorry. You’re right.

“Hey Ben. There has been something I’ve been wanting to tell you for awhile now. Just promise me you won’t get mad.”

“I promise I’ll try.”

“Well you know how I said I was dating Poe?”

“Yeah? You ended that right? I mean he sexually assaulted you last night. Plus we’re together now. You don’t need him.”

“Just listen for a sec. I told you that I was dating Poe, but it wasn’t true. I only said that because you came home with a fiance. I wanted you to be jealous and see me as an adult. It was childish I know, but I had to at least tell you the truth. Please don’t be mad!”

“So nothing ever happened between you two? Physically I mean?”

“No never. Not until last night I mean, but I didn’t want that to happen. Are you mad?”

“Are you kidding me? I’m fucking furious Rey! But not at you, at Poe. He tried to force himself on you and you two weren’t even dating! I should have beaten him to a pulp. God I’m so so sorry again for leaving you alone with him last night.”

“So you’re really not mad at me?”

“No Rey. I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay good, because I was thinking you and Leia could come over later. My grandpa and I always order Chinese food, watch cheesy Christmas movies and just sorta lay around. I know it’s no big party, but at least we would all be together for Christmas Eve. What do you say?”

“Depends. Are you asking as my friendly neighbor or my sexy girlfriend.”

“Off the record; girlfriend. My grandpa still doesn’t know about us so we have to keep it low-key.”

“As a pretty girl once said, I’ll be there with bells on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boring but necessary chapter. Just incase you missed my notes from last chapter, there will only be 3 more chapters added to this story. 1 more will be out today and the final two will be out tomorrow. Chapter 30 is going to be super long, but will wrap everything up. I might end up doing an epilogue too if people want. Comment down below if you'd like to see an epilogue. Toodles.


	28. Chapter 28

Rey was on a mission. She had a lot of stuff to take care of before Ben and Leia got there. First on her to-do list was dealing with the Finn and Poe situation. Poe had texted her constantly since yesterday, but she had nothing from Finn. No doubt Finn was mad about the kiss. If she could only explain then this would all be okay.

Poe: Rey please forgive me. Don’t know what came over me.   
Poe: Are you okay? Seemed like you hit your head pretty hard  
Poe: Talk to me Rey  
Poe: Come on I know I screwed up, but don’t ice me out  
Poe: Can we talk? In person?  
Poe: I just really need to see you. I need to know you are okay  
Rey: Come over to my house as soon as you can. But you have to bring Finn with you. Don’t tell him you are coming to my house.  
Poe: Yes okay. I’ll do anything. I’m texting him now. Thank you. Thank you.

Next order of business was to get some real clothes on. Her grandpa and her weren’t very formal so she just threw on an oversized red sweater and some leggings. Now that she was feeling comfy she could get to cleaning the house. If she was lucky Ben, Leia, Finn, and Poe would all be over later. That meant this house had to be spick and span. It wasn’t overly dirty, but it could use some work. It was nothing like Ben’s.

“Hey Rey. Why don’t you take a break? You are going to clean yourself to death.”

“Yeah okay, I will. Do you mind if we talk for a minute grandpa? I just have some stuff I have to say.”

“Of course Rey. What’s on your mind?”

“Well it’s about me and Poe.” She needed to get everything out in the open. She was done with the lies.

“Oh God. You’re pregnant. I knew I should have had the talk with you years ago.”

“No! Not pregnant! Not at all.”

“Well that’s a relief. So what is it then? Boy trouble?”

“I’m definitely having boy troubles, but that isn’t what this is about. Grandpa Poe and I aren’t dating.”

“You broke up?”

“No. I lied to you. Poe and I were never dating. I made it up.”

“Dang I really liked him. Rey why would you make that up? What benefit was that to you?”

“That’s a different much longer more complicated story. The point is that I’m sorry I lied to you.”

“Oh Rey it’s okay. I don’t care that much anyways, but I’m glad you told me.” Wow this was going way better than she anticipated. Maybe she should tell him about Ben too. She better not press her luck. Speaking of which...

“Oh and by the way Ben and Leia are coming over later for dinner, and maybe Poe and Finn too.”

“Okay. You still aren’t dating Poe right?”

“Still not dating Poe grandpa.”

“Alright, alright.”

“You sound like Matthew McConaughey.”

“Weren’t you cleaning girl?” Just like that Rey went back to cleaning. Telling the truth felt nice. She was worried that everyone would hate her when they found out she had lied, but apparently not. Finn might still hate her, but that was a different story. Speak of the devil. Right then she heard a knock on the door. Hopefully it was Poe and Finn.

Rey swung open the door and the two didn’t even notice. They seemed like they were arguing. “Why are we here Poe?”

“Rey will explain everything. Why are you so mad at her anyways?”

“That doesn’t matter. Let’s go. I don’t-”

“Ahem. Would you two like to come in or would you prefer to stand out there and argue some more?” Rey knew Finn’s answer to that, but luckily Poe dragged him inside. 

“Why am I here Rey? And why did you lie to me Poe?”

“Because we need to talk. It’s that simple.”

“Well great. We talked so can I go now?”

“No. Sit down and shut up until I’m done talking.”

“But-”  
“Zip it!” Rey yelled. “Good now Poe, I’m going to start with you. What you did was disgusting and wrong. We weren’t even actually dating! I mean what was your end goal? To rape me?”

“No! I don’t know what came over me. Rey I really am so sorry. I shouldn’t have come onto you like that. You were drunk and I took advantage of it.” 

“Wait. Poe you came on to Rey?” Finn chimed in.

“Yeah it was all me.” Finn suddenly looked heartbroken.

“Yes. Which brings me to my next point. Poe I forgive you, but I am never going to be the right person for you, but there is someone who still could be…”

Finn looked at Rey with pleading eyes. He was begging her not to say it. “What are you talking about? Someone likes me or something?”

“Not just anyone.” Finn’s silence on the matter was obvious. 

“Finn what’s she talking about?”

“Rey could you give us some time alone?” Finn asked.

“Of course.” Rey quickly turned to leave shutting the door behind her.

“Finn what is going on? Do you know what she was talking about?”

“Yeah. I do actually.”

“Well?”

“This is going to be really hard for me to admit, because I can barely admit it to myself. Do you remember a few weeks ago when I found out that Rey and you were “dating”?”

“Yeah how could I forget? You were so pissed about her not telling you. I had to talk you into hearing her out for like an hour.”

“Right. Except I wasn’t mad she didn’t tell me. I was mad because she was dating you…”

“I’m not following.”

“Poe I’m gay and I’ve had a crush on you since like freshman year. I never said anything because I didn’t want to wreck our friendship and you were always with some girl and I didn’t know if you would even consider dating a guy so… Anyways, Rey didn’t know any of this up until a few weeks ago. I told her right after she told me you two weren’t actually dating. Please say something I have been talking for like two minutes straight.”

“I uh. I guess that explains a few things. Would you do me a favor Finn?”

“Anything.”

“Close your eyes.” Finn arched an eyebrow at him, but complied. Finn waited in anticipation for what would happen next. Part of him was worried that when he opened his eyes Poe would be gone. Those worries were soon squashed when he felt Poe lean in and softly kiss his lips. Finn couldn’t believe that Poe Dameron was kissing him.

Finn opened his eyes when Poe pulled away. Oh no, had he not been a good kisser? Or maybe he was only pitying him. Soon Poe was kissing him yet again suddenly much more confident than before. It was the sort of kiss that you could easily get lost in. 

This felt so right for Poe. No wonder he had never been able to keep a girl. He liked girls. They made him feel good, but he never really felt that spark. He thought he had felt it with Rey. No, that was nothing compared to this. Poe had never wanted to kiss anyone more in his life. It was sad that he had missed out on this for so long. 

Finally they had to catch their breath so Finn pulled away. “Wow.”

“Wow indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Stormpilot is official y'all. Wish I could have written more stormpilot. 2 more chapters to go. Chapter 30 will be the final chapter, but will be much longer than my normal 1000 word chapters. Also considering doing an epilogue and starting a new fanfiction. Let me know if you guys have any ideas or if you want an epilogue. Toodles.


	29. Chapter 29

“Ben, Leia. How nice of you to come over. I hope Rey told you, we’re having Chinese food. It’s kind of a tradition.”

Leia walked inside and took off her coat with Ben close behind. “Oh yes, she told me. Thank you for letting us come over. We didn’t have any plans really.”

“Well of course Ben. You two are like family. You are welcome over anytime.”

“Well the same goes to you and Rey. The house looks lovely by the way. I don’t remember the last time I was here.” Leia responded. 

“Oh thank you. Well Rey just left to go grab the food. She should be back pretty soon. Finn and Poe are here too. Feel free to go-”

“Wait what? Poe is here?”

“Yes he was just in the kitchen grabbing a drink. Funny thing actually, I guess Poe and her were never dating. She wouldn’t tell me why she lied about it though.”

“Oh Ben. Why don’t you go talk to Finn and Poe while I have a minute alone with Old Ben here.”

Ben was not thrilled at the thought of seeing Poe again. It was going to take everything she had not to punch him again. Hopefully he left a mark at least. Ben walked into the kitchen ready to tell Poe off, but was greeted by a rather odd sight. Was Poe kissing Finn?

“So is this like a hobby of yours? Try to kiss someone new every day?” Ben scared the crap out of the pair. Poe should be scared. 

“Hey man. About last night..”

“Don’t hey man me. And yeah let’s talk about last night. You had no right to come on to Rey like that. She told me you two were never dating. How fucking messed up do you have to be to force yourself on to a drunk girl?”

“Look Ben. I’m sorry. I already talked with Rey and everything is cool between her and I. I’m with Finn now actually. And Rey told me about you two. You make her really happy, I can tell. I hope you can forgive me man. I mean Ben, sir. Shit.”

Rey told Poe about them? If Rey was fine with Poe then he guessed he should be too. “Okay. But don’t you ever so much as lay a finger on her again.”

“Deal.” 

 

“Oh Leia I love Ben, but Rey is only seventeen. This is so weird. Why wouldn’t she tell me?”

“Ben didn’t tell me either! Neither did Rey for that matter. I asked her and she simply told me the truth. They are in love.”

“Don’t you think it’s just a little weird? They grew up together like brother and sister. He’s eight years older than her.”

“Yeah well no relationship is perfect. Take me and Han for example. We argued and we fought. He was much older than me and much farther below my station. It wasn’t all butterflies and kisses. Don’t you see how happy they make each other?”

“Yeah I do…”

“Well don’t you want her to be happy?”

“I want that more than anything Leia. If you’re okay with this, then so am I. I want to talk with Ben though.”

“Well then go talk to him. He’s right in the kitchen.”

Old Ben headed for the kitchen to find Ben. “Boy’s would you give me a minute alone with Ben and Leia here. Why don’t you go into the living room and put on a Christmas movie.”

“Sure thing Mr. Kenobi.” Finn responded. Poe and Finn left hand in hand.

“Ben I need to talk to you. Leia and I were just discussing a few things…”

“Okay? And?”

“Well Leia told me about you and Rey?”

“What about me and Rey?” Bens forehead started to sweat. Surely he couldn’t mean the fact that they were dating. Leia didn’t know so how could she have told him?

“Well. She told me that you love my granddaughter. And she really loves you in return. Is that true?”

“Mom you knew? You knew and you didn’t say anything to me, but you went and told Old Ben?”

“Oh Benny don’t fuss just answer the question.”

“Yes. It’s true. I love her. I love her with all that I have.”

“You’re a good guy Ben. I’m really not sure about dating my granddaughter.”

“I understand.” Ben’s face sank. He should have known him and Rey wouldn’t last.

“But then again. I have noticed how happy she has been lately. Until now I had thought that was Poe’s doing. Now I assume that has to do with you instead. Leia and I agree.. Though it is odd, we have never seen two more perfectly matched for one another. You have my blessing son.”

“Oh wow. You have no idea what that means to hear that from you. I wish Rey were here for this. Wait where is she? Shouldn’t she be back by now?”

“Oh she will be here soon. The fresh snow probably slowed her down. Don’t worry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter to go.


	30. Chapter 30

The snow was coming down harder and harder. If she kept going the speed she was, by the time she got home her egg roll would be cold. That is not okay. Luckily Rey was finally on her street. It had taken her about thirty minutes to go to a place five minutes down the road. There was an accident on the way, which slowed down traffic, plus the roads were slick with snow and ice. Her truck handled well in the snow, but she still needed to keep her eyes peeled. A deer could run out in front of her or worse, a person. 

Rey had to park on the curb so she wouldn’t block Poe’s car. She got out and nearly fell immediately. The ground was pure ice. Rey made her way around to the passenger side like a baby deer. She opened the door and grabbed the food. She had bags in both arms. It was a lot of food for not a lot of people. Was six a lot? Not compared to yesterday. 

“Dammit!” Rey dropped one of the bags on the ground and everything came spilling out. It was all individually packaged so none of the actual food was touching the ground, but she still had to pile it all back in. 

“Goodnight!” Something struck Rey’s head and she was out cold.

 

“Oh good, you’re awake. Hope you had a good sleep.” Rey looked around to find the origin of the voice she was hearing. 

“Jessika?”

“Surprise! Don’t you just love surprises? I know I do. You know what was a big surprise? When Kylo told me he didn’t love me anyone more and said he loved you instead.” Rey looked down at her wrists and ankles. She was all tied up. She wiggled her hands to test out the knots, but it held true. It seemed like she was at Ben’s house too.

“Don’t even bother. I know my way around a knot. So does Kylo. Does he let you tie him up too?”

“What?”

“Oh guess not.”

“Jessika what are you doing let me go.”

“Oh no see, I would but I don’t want to. You took everything from me. Kylo and I were supposed to get married and start a family. But then you come along and then “poof”, it’s like I wasn’t even there anymore. Except I was there. I had to watch him fall in love with you right in front of my eyes.”

“Jessika think about your baby. If you do this what will happen to them.”

“Ha!” Jessika threw her head back in laughter. Was Rey missing a joke or something? “Baby? You really think I’m pregnant? No that’s good actually. If you were dumb enough to buy that then Kylo definitely bought it.”

“What? If you aren’t pregnant then why?”

“Oh you sweet little dumb bitch. I wanted him back. I thought that if I said I was pregnant then we would get back together. But no. Yet again, you ruined that.”

“If you aren’t actually pregnant then what would he have thought when your belly didn’t start growing.”

“You talk too much. If you don’t shut up I’ll make you. But anyways, to answer your question, I was either going to have lots of sex with him or say I lost it. I don’t know. I would have thought of something. Too late for any of that now. I’ve suffered enough. Now it’s your turn orphan slut.”

“What are you gonna do to me?” If Rey just kept her talking then maybe someone would find them. She just had to stall her long enough for someone to notice she should be home by now.

“Well I could tell you, but it would be so much more fun to show you.” Jessika pulled a tiny knife out of her back pocket. “Do you know what this is?”

“A knife?”

“No shit Sherlock. No this is a very special knife. It’s called a scalpel. Ever heard of it?” Rey visibly gulped. She had heard of it. “Oh good it looks like you have. Well then you know that this knife specializes in cutting people open. Not to brag or anything, but I’m pretty good with it.” Jessika got closer to Rey flipping the knife back and forth between her fingers. Now she was crouched down right in front of her.

“See I know exactly which areas I could use this scalpel on you to cause immediate death. If I sliced your throat you would die within thirty seconds. Fun fact you wouldn’t actually die from blood loss. You would die from the lack of oxygen that your blood provided to your lungs. That would be much too quick though. See I know something way more important than all that. I know the places I can cut you to make this long, drawn out and overall painful. For example, the quadriceps.” Jess stabbed the knife down into her thigh. 

“Fuck!” Rey was in an immense amount of pain. The knife was standing straight up out of her leg. Her leggings were instantly stained with blood. 

“Oh does that hurt? So does getting your heart ripped out. Let’s figure out which one hurts worse. Eenie meenie miney mo, which will be the final blow?” Jessika ripped the knife from out of Rey’s leg and stabbed it right back in her abdomen. “Ooh that one could do some damage. You don’t have a lot of fat to protect those soft organs of yours. Your stomach is probably internally bleeding as we speak.” 

Rey had to bite her lip to keep from screaming out in pain. She wouldn’t give her that satisfaction. “Oh not as talkative now are we? Let’s play a new game. Each time I stab you. You rate how painful it is on a scale from 1-10. Got it? Good. Let’s see, what do I want to fuck up? How about your pretty face?” Jessika took her scalpel a sliced her face right in half with one clean swipe. “On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your pain level?” Rey spit right on Jessika’s face. It was mixed with blood that slipped into her mouth from her new wound. 

“EW! I have the knife! Don’t you get that? Or are you just that dumb?” Jessika stabbed Rey in the shoulder and left it there then went to go find some paper towels. Rey let out a whimper when she was out of sight. She could hardly keep her eyes open any more. She thought she saw Ben at the window, but she was probably imagining it. 

She was losing all her fight. Her head slumped over on her shoulder. Suddenly it felt like it weighed fifty pounds. All she could hear was her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Jessika walked back in with her egg roll and a glass of water. “Yum, where did you get this? I love egg rolls. Wow you look like shit. You went from rosey cheeks to pale as a sheet real quick. Rey barely even heard her. She knew she was talking, but it sounded like a distant voice. Rey just needed to rest so she let her eyes slip shut.

“No! No you wake up. I want to see the life leave your eyes.” Jessika stabbed her one more time in the gut for good measure. Rey could barely even see anymore. She had no idea what Jessika was saying. She could only hear the really loud ringing in her ears. It was only getting louder.

“No you aren’t supposed to be dying this quick. Fuck! Shit! Wake up!” Jessika slapped her as hard as she could but Rey didn’t even react. 

“Step away from her Jessika.” She spun around to find Kylo standing there. She didn’t even hear him come in.

“Oh hey baby. You’re just in time to watch all of our problems die.” 

“Jessika put down the knife. It’s just me.”

“No I don’t think I will.”   
“I’m actually glad you’re here Jess.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it and I want to raise this baby with you. I don’t care if it’s mine or not. I love you Jess. It was always you.”

Jessika dropped her knife and ran right into his. Jessika looked up at him in disbelief. “Kylo?”

“My name is Ben.” Jessika’s body slumped down to the ground and he ran to Rey.

“Rey! Stay awake. An ambulance is on the way. Just stay with me.”

“Ben?”

“Yes! Yes Rey it’s me. Stay awake. That’s it. That’s all you need to do. Listen to my voice and stay with me. Rey baby I love you. Don’t leave me again.”

 

Paramedics rushed in very suddenly. “Over here! Please help her. She has multiple stab wounds and she’s lost a lot of blood.”

“Okay sir. I need you to stand back while we get her on the gurney.” Ben kissed her hand then backed up. Hopefully he wasn’t too late. In the time that he had been home, how was it that Rey had almost died twice now? Well not almost. Rey could really be gone for good this time. 

“This one has a stab wound too! Get another gurney. She’s ready, are you a family member?”

“Yes.” Ben just said it without thinking. 

“Good. You can ride in the ambulance with her.” Ben followed them out and watched as she was hoisted up into the ambulance. Ben hopped in after her. 

“She’s going to need a blood transfusion. What is her blood type?”

“AB positive.”

“You are sure? Because if you are wrong then-”

“Kid I’m a doctor. I know what would happen. Her blood type is AB positive. Just help her.”

They were at the hospital in under ten minutes. Rey was rushed immediately into surgery. Ben called her grandpa and told him briefly what had happened. Mostly he just told him to get to the hospital as soon as he could.

“Oh Ben. How is she? Have you heard anything?” Rey’s grandpa asked. Old Ben, Leia, Finn, and Poe all rushed in at once. 

“No. She’s going to be in there for awhile.”

“Oh God. What if Rey dies and the last thing she remembers of me is me being mad at her?” Finn sobbed. Poe comforted him while he bawled his eyes out. 

Leia spoke up suddenly and asked, “Can you explain a little better what happened since we have time?” Everyone turned to Ben.

“Well I thought I saw Rey pull in. I went outside to go help her with the food. That’s when I saw Rey’s truck. It was turned off and parked, but she was nowhere in sight. One of the bags of food was knocked over on the ground so I knew she was out there somewhere. That’s when I heard it.”

“Heard what?” Poe asked seriously with a look of devastation. 

“Her screams.” Ben started to tear up at the thought of them. “They were coming from my house. I snuck around the back to look in the window just in case. Rey was strapped down and Jessika, my ex-fiance, was stabbing her. I called the cops immediately. God this is all my fault.” Ben buried his head in his hands.

“But why would she do that?” Finn said through his sobs.

“Because she blamed Rey for their breakup.” Poe answered for Ben. 

“Exactly.”

“Well Ben. You’re a doctor. What can we do?” Old Ben asked.  
“Sit and wait.”

 

They had been there for six hours with no updates on Rey. “I’m looking for a Ben Solo?” 

“Yes that’s me.”

“You brought the girl in with the stab wound earlier?”

“Yes. Just lay it on me. Don’t sugar coat it.”

“We did everything we could to save her, but she didn’t make it. Part of the knife that was used to stab her got lodged in her left atrium. She died only minutes ago. Would you like to see her?” Everyone was silent. She was really gone this time. 

His whole world was crumbled to dust. “Yes.” His entire body felt numb. 

“She’s in the room down the hall to the right

“Before you go. What happened to the other girl? Did she live? She came in with a stab wound too.” 

“Oh yes she is very much alive. That one is a fighter. Must have had something worth fighting for. We had to keep reviving her, but she came back each and every time. She’s recovering in room 1744 if you would like to visit her too. Only one person at a time though.” Ben nodded and the doctor turned to walk away. Of course Jessika would be the one who lived. Death was apparently a fan of irony. 

“Would you guys let me go in first? I want some time alone with her.” Ben asked.

“Sure Ben,” her grandpa answered. Ben started off down the hall. It felt like he was walking towards his own death. He took a deep breath before opening the door. There she was lying cold and dead on the operating room table. He didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to look at his failure. Still he had to say goodbye. The closer he got the more he realized something was wrong. Her skin was too pale and her hair too dark. This wasn’t his Rey. For once he was actually glad to see Jessika. She died at his hands. This meant that…

Ben ran out of the room and burst through the door in a frenzy. “Ben? What’s wrong?” asked Leia. He didn’t even stop to answer her. He had to find her. He had to find Rey. She was alive and alone. What did the doctor say again? 1744. That was just right down the hall. He took off running and almost knocked over a guy in a wheelchair on the way. Everyone followed after him. Ben finally found it. He pushed the door open immediately while everyone caught up to him. He rounded the corner and there she was. It was Rey. She was alive.

“Rey!” She was awake too.

“Do you think The Office might be on? Could you pass me the remote over there? They told me not to move much.” Ben rushed to her side and gave her a big kiss. 

Ben only pulled away when her grandpa coughed to get their attention. “Oh grandpa this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Yes it is. That’s okay Rey. I already know about you and Ben. I’m really happy for you both. I’m even more happy that you are alive.”

“But wait I thought the doctor said she was dead?” Poe bluntly said.

“What!” Rey yelled.

“It was Jessika. He was talking about Jessika. She’s dead. I killed her.” Ben announced.

“Well that woman was evil, but she didn’t deserve to die. I hope her soul is at rest. Don’t worry Ben. We know it was to save Rey. Rey honey, how do you feel?” Leia asked.

“There's no pain, but I am sore. They have me on all kinds of drugs. Who is hiding back there?”

Finn stepped into the room. He looked guilt ridden. “Finn what’s wrong?”

“I thought you died Rey. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that the last thing you were going to remember was me being mad at you. I’m so sorry Rey.”

“It’s okay. Really. So did you and Poe uh..?”

Poe smiled at Finn and gave him a quick kiss. “Yeah, we did.” 

“Oh hey everybody. Look it’s midnight. Merry Christmas!” 

Everyone went around exchanging “Merry Christmases”. Today had been a true Christmas miracle. Finally the worst of it was over. Finn and Poe were together. Leia and Old Ben knew about Rey and Ben and Jessika was dead. Now they could all move on with their lives. 

“Man next Christmas is going to be so boring now. How will it ever live up to this one?”

“Rey, I hope next Christmas is boring. If boring means never having to go through this again.” Rey went to speak, but been silenced her with a sweet kiss. 

“I love you Rey.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap everyone. Hope you enjoyed it and like how I ended off. I have started writing a new fic called After Hours if you'd like to continue reading my work. The first few chapters of that will be out today. Thanks for reading everyone. Toodles. <3


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